I've got a problem

I've got a real sickness. I can't finish anything. I've got start-itis. I am truly incapable of finishing anything. Not even my devotion to cashsoft can stop my mind from wandering. It's the sleeves. I always get distracted at the sleeves. Case in point, my corset that only needs two more inches on one sleeve. Then there's Hopeful. The body is done it merely needs sleeves. And of course my Alpaca Cardigan that I'm knitting with Cashsoft, the most decadent yarn I have ever knit with. I must stick to vests. I get to the sleeves and lose momentum.

And the worst part it what I'm contemplating knitting next.

I want to frog Hopeful, 'cuz we all know sleeves are just not going to happen for this sweater. And I want to use the yarn to knit an off the shoulder sweater, the kind where the collar folds down over the top part of your arms (I'm sure there's a real term for that, but I'll just refer to it as the top part of your arms. You all know what I mean, not the shoulder, but just below it). No real pattern yet, just a vague idea in my mind, bell sleeves, maybe a lace pattern, ribbing for the folded over part. No pattern, no real direction. And I want to knit it to wear for Christmas NEXT YEAR.

For this I want to abandon Cashsoft. I want to abandon it for Knit Picks Merino Style, which is nice, but no Cashsoft. I want to abandon it for a sweater with no pattern, that I don't want to wear for an entire YEAR.

We all know what happens when I try to knit without a pattern. What? You don't know? You've never seen me knit without a pattern. That's right, most of you are new. I think only Jackie was reading at that time. I once tried to knit a sweater without a pattern. I blogged my idea, a bit of my progress, then I just went silent about the whole thing. Entirely mute. It just disappeared like it had never existed. It was such a disaster I refuse to even speak of it, so don't ask. I won't talk about it, it's too painful to recall. Maybe someday, with therapy, but no I doubt even then. That's how well I do when I knit without a pattern. And I shall never refer to it again. For some *ahem, Miriam* the gift of design is given. For others *cough, me* the gift of following the pattern is given.

I must go and work on my sleeves. I'm going to spend time with my Cashsoft until I love it again. I will finish this Cardigan if it's the last thing I do. I'm determined to finish at least three things on my progress bars before casting on for a new project.

Who am I kidding? I'm sure I'll have pictures of the frogged Hopeful and new cast on tomorrow. Do they sell Willpower in an ingestible form, tablet preferred to liquid.