Seduced and Betrayed

I wrote this post a week ago, but I've been so bereft by the entire affair I haven't had the heart to edit and publish it. I also haven't had the heart to knit since.

So the Evil knitting continued to grow

I'm almost ready to start decreasing for the arms.

The decoy knitting was buzzing right along as well

I'm almost ready to knit the heel (turn the heel? create a heel? what is the proper knitterly way to say that?)

Then I was seduced by something new.

I'll admit it. Some young pretty knit turned my head with all its fancy white lace. It was new and different. It promised me romance and I was instantly smitten.

Admit it. You're intrigued by this sweater too.

I couldn't help myself.

The obsession took hold and I HAD to knit this sweater.

Never mind the fact that I'm supposed to be showing my undying love for my husband by secretly knitting him a sweater with the World's Worst Yarn(tm). Never mind the fact that I am stash knitting and I don't have a sweater quantity of yarn left. I had some left-over white acrylic baby yarn. Almost a full skein as a matter of fact. I know from experience that I could "kill" this particular yarn and achieve the lovely drapey qualities of the alpaca the original design was knit with. This yarn could work for this sweater. Never mind that fact that I have four children and I would be INSANE to wear a white sweater, or anything white for that matter. Never mind the fact that I live in the desert and it is a billion degrees outside.

Like I said, I couldn't help myself.

I just knit a little gauge swatch. Just a bitty square of knitting to see if the yarn would even be a good match to the pattern. Only a tiny square.

It isn't really cheating on my husband's sweater if its just a gauge swatch right?

But I got gauge. I got perfect gauge, row and stitch count exactly. This never happens. Something is always off a little bit. But not with this gauge swatch. It was perfect.

I couldn't stop myself.

Before I realized what I was doing I had cast on for the sweater. I knit, and I knit, and I put the sleeve stitches on waste yarn and I knit and I ran to Wal-Mart of another skein of yarn, and I knit and I knit and I picked up stitches for the collar, and I knit and I knit and I frogged ten rows, and I knit and I knit and I knit. And then I bound off.

Of course that three day marathon of Burn Notice on USA Network didn't help matter. I loves me some Micheal Weston. It was the perfect excuse to sit on the couch and knit.

Before I knew it I had knit the entire body and collar of the sweater. All that was left were two tiny short sleeves. I was inches away from perfection. All that promised romance would be mine in mere hours.

I tried on my unblocked sweater to revel in the white glory of lace I had created.

Ummm, yeah.

No.

I should have chosen a size larger, possibly two.

Into the frog pond I go.

Cheaters never do prosper do they?