What do you mean it's October

So I'm happily knitting on my Socktober socks when I get an e-mail. An earth shattering, life changing e-mail. It seemed simple enough. Someone suggested that we have our children wear their Halloween costumes to playgroup this Thursday. Sounds like fun. My first thought was that it was awfully early in the month to have Halloween Costumes, but hey when in Rome. Then I realize what the actual date is. Halloween is next week! I have not even begun to consider Halloween costumes. I've been too busy knitting socks.

So I start shopping for costumes. Usually I make them, but this year I thought I would just buy them considering playgroup is Thursday. I didn't want to kill myself sewing three costumes in less than a week with my questionable sewing skills. I looked everywhere. Either I couldn't find the costume in their size, or they didn't have what they wanted to wear, or I just couldn't justify the expense for such a poorly made item. It is truly a sad day when the sewing job I do is superior to that of the store item.

So Sunday I went out and bought this



Now my challenge is to turn this jumble of colors and textures into three beautiful, creative costumes for my children. Some day I'll entertain you with my history with sewing machines. I have a talent for breaking them, yet I keep sewing. I literally, no exaggeration, broke three machines when I was sewing my son's crib bedding (first mine, then my Mothers, then my neighbors. Makes you wonder why on earth my neighbor loaned me her machine in the first place). It was not pretty. Well the crib bedding was so pretty, and the crib skirt was perfect. But the pile of broken machines? Not pretty. So far I have only broken two needles and I'm almost done with Pork Chop's costume. Unfortunately it is huge. I always buy her dresses in a size six, so I made her costume in a size six, and I should have gone with a five. Oh well. She'll be able to wear it for years. I'm just going to have to figure out how to hem six inches of fabric from a bell shaped dress. Did I mention I'm fine with straight lines, but curved lines actually scare me?

So while I am leaving a trail of sewing pins through the apartment I will be neglecting this



Don't they look fabulous? I love them. Here's a close up of the front lace pattern



Isn't it pretty? I think of them while I'm ripping out ill-sewn seams. Tomorrow I'm taking my Mom to chemo, and since I don't feel like lugging the sewing machine with me I'll be able to knit away tomorrow afternoon guilt free. See, every cloud has a silver lining.

What to do with Boyd

What a bad needle. And he's hiding again. When I get my hands on him I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but it's going to be bad. Cutting him in half sounds like a good idea, but I'm afraid he's like a worm and he'll only sprout new points at each end and become two separate evil Boyds.

And in his latest act of treachery Boyd has gifted me with the flu. I barely had the energy today to lie in bed and watch the children hit one another, occasionally calling out a feeble "don't do that." Meaty's response is always "But I luf her." Evidently "luffing" someone is an excuse to harm them. I'm going to have to work on that before he gets himself a girlfriend.

When The Greatest came home for lunch I told him I was too sick to knit, but around two I had grown tired of watching the toddler version of the Ultimate Fighting Championship (Bird really was holding her own) so I tried to knit. What a huge mistake. I'm trying to knit Knitty's Straightlaced Socks. There is a two row lace pattern repeat. I knit about five rows of the repeat before I realized I was only knitting the first row over and over and over. I'd evidently decided the second row was superfluous, not really necessary. I tried to frog it, but I'm not good at frogging with yarn overs and decreases. I ended up taking the socks off the needles, ripping back to the ribbing and then trying to pick-up the stitches. That was a disaster. The stitches are so small, and the work was so tedious, and my head hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up. I ended up frogging the entire socks into two neat balls. I'll try again later when I'm feeling better. I swear I'm going to knit these Socktober Socks IN Socktober.

And just to clarify. My Mother has breast cancer, so every Tuesday I take her for her chemotherapy. That's why Tuesdays are chemo days. For me it's not such a bad thing. I get to spend the afternoon childless just talking to my Mother. I get to sit in a chair and knit uninterrupted for a few hours, and a nice volunteer brings me hot chocolate and brownies if they have any. If it weren't for the life threatening cancer and the poisonous toxins they pump into my Mother it would be a perfect afternoon. I don't blog about it much, not because I'm uncomfortable talking to random strangers about it, but because my family reads my blog and some of my feelings are too raw and personal to share with people I'm going to actually have to see face to face. I will post if there is any news, good or bad, about her progress. She gets a body scan next month to see how the chemo is doing. I would like to thank everyone here and on the Knitty board who have said such positive supportive things.

Good things never die!

Silly girl.

Did she really think it would be that easy to get rid of me? (insert evil laugh here)(Don't forget to use a deep voice, with an evil accent).



So she thinks she really "accidentally" downloaded the wrong version of the pattern into her palm. Give me a break. It was sooooo simple to make the switch. Sure she had a password on her Palm but "I hate Boyd" wasn't too hard to crack. I almost died laughing when I saw her try on her sweater with the too low neckline. It was too sweet. My plans are falling together perfectly.

This is my next evil act



Her precious Socktober socks. (yes the picture is fuzzy and bad, but give me a break, I don't have opposable thumbs) She had knit an inch and a half, the ribbing was done, she was all set to start the lace repeats tomorrow. Imagine her surprise when she awakens tomorrow to find there is less than a half an inch done. She'll wonder how she measured so wrong. She'll never suspect I unraveled all her work.

She is sooo simple, so trusting. Sure she changed her password after the last time I hijacked her blog but again "Death to Boyd" wasn't hard to figure out. I think my next move is to find this "Evil" she keeps talking about. I think it could be useful to my cause. (insert evil laugh here)

It's a long story

I know, I know. I'm neglecting my blog. Poor blog. Bear with me. It's been a long few days, and I've got great excuses.

On Thursday I just couldn't blog or even knit because I got a new toy. My Father gifted me with this



It's his old MPIO music player. I didn't think I needed it, but I absolutely LOVE it. It's really useful. I wore it until my ears hurt. I can wear it when I knit, and when I do the dishes, and when I knit, and when I'm cleaning, and when I knit, and when I'm outside playing with the kids, and when I knit, and when, well, you get the picture. I spent most of Thursday downloading songs to load onto my player. Collecting songs could become a time consuming hobby in and of itself.

On Friday with an MPIO full of my favorite songs I decided to sit down and get serious about Hopeful, and here's how it turned out.



Here's another Public Service Announcement. When you are gifted with a pattern, and then a few days later an second version of said pattern is distributed because the neck-line is too low on the original version, please be sure the copy you downloaded into your Palm is the second updated version of the pattern and not the first copy of said pattern. I finished the entire left front side, and most of the right when I decided to try the shirt on and see how the length was. Imagine my surprise to discover the length and shaping was perfect but the neckline dipped down below my bra. After some checking I realized I was knitting with the original version of the pattern, the version that was scrapped because the neckline was too low. No biggie, I'll just frog to the neckline and knit until I get to the appropriate length to begin the neckline. But as I'm frogging I realize I've started my shaping much lower than called for by the pattern. For the life of me I can't imagine why I would start the waist shaping at three inches instead of the four and a half inches called for by the pattern, so I frog the entire sweater. As I roll the last ball I realize I started the waist shaping so low because I was modifying the sweater to spread the shaping over a total of eight inches instead of four. I frogged the entire thing because I am a DUMBASS who needs to keep better notes on my knitting.
In shame I avoid my blog.

So Saturday feeling sad and demoralized by knitting I sit with my MPIO and try to make so pretty stitch markers to cheer myself up. I made these



They're nice, but not quite what I intended. I just wasn't feelin' it. With nothing to show but some balls of yarn and a story of knitting idiocy I consider entering the blogger protection program.

So Sunday I start Hopeful again and just pray I can recreate the new shaping that fit so well. Why oh why did I choose this project to get cocky on and stop using row counters and keeping detailed notes? With progress to show I consider blogging but I got The Greatest a new computer game for his birthday and I was unable to get within ten feet of the computer.

On Monday I continue to knit Hopeful. I'm roughly where I was on Thursday.



But I feel no joy. Where's the love? Hopeful has lost all meaning for me.

Today was Chemo day. I didn't want to bring either of my sweaters to chemo, they're getting too big. So I decide to work on my Socktober socks before Socktober is gone. I'm working on Knitty's Straightlaced socks. Only I don't have two size 3 circular needles. I figure I'll just work with the needles I own and make the larger size, that should work won't it? Everyone reading this is shaking their heads and wondering if I've started doing drugs again. I got the ribbed cuff done, but it is no where near fitting. So tonight during the Sopranos I reworked the gauge to match the needles I have, it's cheaper than buying new needles. So my fabulous Socktober socks look like this



I need a finished object to cheer myself up. I think I need to grab the project that is closest to being done and just finish it. That or I need to find Boyd and sacrifice him in a ritual to the Gods of Knitting.

A little motivation

There's nothing like volunteering to host playgroup to motivate you to clean up.



Isn't it pretty. And I swear there's only one unpacked box and one laundry basket of random things off camera. And a smallish pile, alright mediumish pile of papers on the desk. But it doesn't look bad for only being here 12 days. Things are really coming together.

I hung curtains today. Or atleast I attempted to. After figuring out all by myself how to put the proper drill bit into the drill I tried to install the brackets for the kitchen window. For some reason it didn't work. I tried moving the bracket. I tried pushing harder. I couldn't get the screw to screw into the wall, so I got the bright idea that maybe I needed to drill a hole before I tried to drill the screw into the wall. I took out the bit for the screw and tried to insert the long thing for drilling holes (see my amazing use of proper technical jargon). This is where God himself intervened and I couldn't get the hole driller thingie to stay in the drill. The little grippers had disappeared. Later that afternoon The Greatest called and he explained to me that the screw wouldn't go into the wall because the drill was in reverse, ditto for why the grippers disappeared. He also told me that for the love of all that's good do not drill holes before drilling the screws in. He doesn't have enough spackle for that. It's amazing. When you're not in reverse the screws just drill right in. I got the kitchen curtains up with no further incident.

Feeling bold from my moderate success with the kitchen curtains I decided to hang the living room curtains. I measured, I leveled, I drilled, and I tried to hang. Notice I had no trouble until I tried to actually hang the curtain rod on the brackets. When I put the weight of the rod on the right bracket it fell right out of the wall. I had drilled into a place that was all spackle under the layers of paint instead of drywall.

I gave up and let the curtains just dangle from the wall until The Greatest came home. He quietly re-spackled and hung the curtains properly. And then just to keep me from getting "inspired" again he hung the living room pictures as well. I think he'll hang the rest of the decorations this weekend. Not a bad way to keep him motivated.

And in between watching the children and abusing the power tools I made this



I'm finished with the waist shaping. I'm almost ready to start the neckline. This pattern is just falling into place, but I've seen from the knitalong that most of the knitters don't have problems until the knit the sleeves and the neck tie. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic.

In an unrelated note, sometimes you see a blog entry that is so well written and beautiful it changes the way you see the world. This is such a post. People who know me know I hate feet. Just can't stand them. But Miriam made me almost love them. Now I have a grudging respect for them. I just thought the whole thing was so well written and beautiful. Her soul must just shine, radient. She inspires me to be a better writer, and produce more thoughtful posts.

Use your illusion baby

Progress of some sort.

I've made a dent on my Hopeful



This pattern is designed for a petite woman with a shorter torso I don't think my torso is abnormally long, but it is normal. So I've measured my favorite shirt and I'm mirroring the measurements for the waist decreases. I'm doing them over four inches instead of just two. Ditto for the eventual increases. I've also lengthened the shirt just a smidge. I've had moderate success messing with patterns in the past, but lately I feel like I've lost my design mojo (hence the hiding from the corset), so we'll just see how this all works out.

I've also made progress unpacking my bedroom. See



Looks better doesn't it? Of course you can't see this pile on my bed.



I'm learning that it's all about the illusion. It doesn't matter what's off frame. It's all about the illusion.

Picturepalooza

I have a small confession to make. I've actually had internet access for almost a week. I'm sorry I've neglected you. I've just been busy, what with the kids, and the unpacking and the finding of the yarn. I apologize, to make up for it I have pictures. Lots of pictures. I know I can buy your forgiveness with pictures.

Here's my almost finished corset with sleeves in the required pose on my sheets.



I knit the first sleeve with a lace repeat at the bottom.



I actually think the lace with where it hits on my body is just too busy. It detracts from the pattern of the bodice. I think the second sleeve which is simple rib will look better.



Then I seem to have caught a case of start-itis.

I've got my corset to finish. Not to mention the rosebud afghan. Plus Bird's sweater (I could put it off over the summer, but now that it's cold I have no excuse). Let's not even talk about Evil.

So here I am with all this stuff to do and I'm going to join Socktober. I've already made my balls of Sock Garden yarn.



I'm thinking of using the Straight Lace pattern from Knitty. But I'm open to suggestions.

I've also finally cast on for Hopeful.



Notice the pretty stitch marker. I've decided to be brave and use pattern as written for the most part. It has been suggested that horizontal ribbing on the hips might not be the most flattering, but hey, I live life on the edge. I am loving the Merino Style yarn from knit picks. I think it would have been lovely to use for the corset as well.

And for a final picture I am letting you into a place few people get to go.



This is my bedroom. To truly understand the significance of this picture I have to give a little background on me. My bedroom is sacred. It is never messy, there are never clothes on the floor, and my bed is always made. It is the prettiest room of the house, my favorite room of the house. Or it was at my old house. Now it is a depositing place for things we don't know what to do with yet. There are no unpacked boxes in any other room of the house (they are mostly hidden in the basement). Yet for some reason my room has been the last to be unpacked and it will probably be the last to get painted. I'm sure my hair dryer is in here somewhere. But I'm not sure where. People who know me in real life will now forgive the way my hair looked in church on Sunday.

On the plus side, in all this mess Boyd has "accidentally" been misplaced in the move. I'm sure he'll find a good home. Evil is also "mysteriously" missing. You don't think the two incidents are related do you?

In an unrelated note, and I add this only because The Greatest will be devastated if I don't point this out, did you notice the ugly monitor on the floor, and the pretty one on the left on the desk? The Greatest was gifted with a new computer for his birthday. Isn't it pretty. I must admit I'm loving the flat screen monitor and the fact that the disk drives all work, and it doesn't crash on a regular basis. Please ohh and ahh over his new toy.

Public Service Announcement

No matter how tired you are, even if you have a good excuse for being tired, like packing and moving and unpacking and arranging furniture and painting (alright watching The Greatest paint) all the while taking care of five children

Let me repeat NO MATTER HOW TIRED YOU ARE do not

a) put the beautiful matching hand knit socks you made for your daughters in the wrong laundry pile resulting in them being washed on warm, not cold.

then

b) being unaware that they are in said wrong load proceed to dry them in the DRYER instead of laying them flat to dry.

Let me assure you that the end result will be a two small pairs of socks only fit for dolls. They will also be lightly felted so they can not be blocked back to size.

Not that I would do a thing like that and then quickly order two new balls of sock yarn from knitpicks to make replacement socks. No, I'm just saying that when you are tired things like this can possibly happen and people should be warned.

Moving day my butt

It's moving day. So why am I here blogging instead of carrying heavy things up and down stairs?

Funny story.

Last week I went to see our apartment and it had cat feces in the garage and the basement had mold and smelled worse than the garage. So I went back to the rental office to make sure they were going to have the apartment ready in a week. The woman at the rental office was annoyed with me for even asking. She didn't want to let me in the apartment in the first place. She kept telling me it wasn't ready yet. I understand that. I wasn't asking about the missing blinds or the half installed flooring. I was concerned about actual animal waste and potentially harmful mold being in a place I am supposed to live with my family. When I came back the woman wouldn't listen to my concerns. She brushed me aside saying that she had told me the apartment wasn't ready yet, but they had a week and they could get it ready in two day.

So yesterday I went to pick up the keys to the apartment and guess what....The apartment ISN'T READY. Sure they picked up the cat poop and scraped the mold off, but the smell? It's not just lingering, it's threatening a hostile take over. They assured me that they had used emulsifier on the basement three times, and now they were going to use a sealant to seal the smell in (does that sound like a bad idea to anyone else?) They had also decided yesterday at three o'clock in the afternoon that they needed to replace the carpet and padding in the entire apartment. Why on earth would they wait until the day before I'm supposed to move in before making a decision like that?

So here I sit. Cooling my heels. Waiting for the sealant to dry and the carpet to be laid.

On the bright side I get all new carpet.

On the other hand I blame this on Boyd.

Today her blog, Tomorrow the world

I am Boyd. Just look at me. I am magnificent. I am shiny, and pointy, and all the things you could dream of in a pair of circular needles. I speak with a deep manly voice. And I have a European accent. You can't tell this because you are reading. Please add a mental voice over as you read this. Think Russian James Earl Jones. Oh yes, Did I mention that I am supremely evil? I already control the weather, and soon I shall take over the world. (Insert evil laugh here).

Oh she thinks she can put a few pretty bobbles on my end and all will be forgiven. Sure I did look fabulous and the blue really complimented my natural skin color (hey when did the voice over become Jack from Will and Grace? James Earl Jones people, but with an evil accent) but it will take more than a few pretty trinkets to get back into my good graces.

Oh I will play her little game. I will make the weather sunny and beautiful tomorrow. It will be the perfect moving weather. My plan is not to spoil her move. Oh no, my plan is far more subtle than that.

By banishing me to the garage she unknowingly gave me access to all her boxes. I have been a busy little needle. I have labeled her fine china "Shoes". If things go as planned they will drop that box. Her shoes are now labeled "Garage". She'll never even open those boxes. Her precious Merino Style Wool for Hopeful is no longer in her yarn stash. I have places it with her high school year books. I've heard her say she's just going to burn that box. "Hopefully" she'll burn some collateral damage as well (insert evil laugh). Her coveted sock yarn is in with The Greatest's old military things. I've heard her say she's going to wait until he dies and then give that stuff to Goodwill. I hope Goodwill likes yarn, if this work more of her stash could find its way into the military supplies (hey soldiers might want to knit, and that yarn is just too scrumptious to be burned)(Why are you Jack again? JAMES EARL JONES PEOPLE).

Do you see the beauty and cunning of my plan? She will spend months fruitlessly searching for these things. She will be haunted by the memory of her missing possessions. She will be driven mad by her obsession to find her sock yarn. Then once she is institutionalized she will come crawling back to me. Only a truly insane person can comprehend how wonderful it is to knit with me. Once they have put her away she'll be solely mine once again. (insert evil laugh here).

Knitting just wasn't enough was it?

My mother went to visit her brother about a month ago. While she was there she learned to make bracelets. Not just some plastic beads tied on elastic string. No I mean really nice bracelets with clasps and everything. She made me this one.



Pretty isn't it. Over the next few weeks I watched her acquire more beads. Then she bought something to hold all her beads. Then when that was full she bought another container. She bought a bead design board, and tools, then better tools when she didn't like her first set. In short she is a bead addict. Like any good addict she tried to get those around her involved in her addiction. I remember doing the same thing when I learned to knit. It's easier to have an addiction when those around you share your addiction, then they aren't judging you and your spending habits. For weeks I resisted her temptation. I said things like "maybe later" (code phrase for "when hell freezes over") and "sure but I gotta finish this knitting first" (polite way of saying "I'd rather knit") and finally "Mom, I don't need another hobby." But being a dutiful daughter I didn't want to dampen her enthusiasm so on the eleventh time she asked me to bead with her I did. This stuff is like heroin. I'm addicted.

I made this



Notice the really cute heart toggle clasp. I made a matching one for Pork Chop.

Then I made this



and this



and this



The first one was for my Mom, and the second one was for me. I also made a small bracelet for my Grandma, but I forgot to photograph it before we gave it to her.

All this beading and wire led to the inevitable thought "I bet I could use these beads and this wire to make stitch markers."

Last night I tried it. And I can.

I made this (sorry for the blurry photo)



then blues



then greens



then purples



and finally words



As The Greatest watched me happily make my stitch markers last night he just fondly smiled at me and said "knitting just wasn't enough was it?" No, I guess not.

And that is Boyd modeling my stitch markers. I thought if I dressed him up and made him feel pretty he might be in a better mood. He might feel generous enough to grant me sunny weather on Saturday for my move. I thought this might be worth a shot. It seemed easier than sacrificing a chicken (that would involve building an alter, finding a live chicken, sharpening a knife, and a lot of bloody yuck) and quicker than waiting on the Post Office to deliver my box so I could smash it. We'll see how it goes. In the mean time I can proudly say we are moving Saturday and I have yet to pack a single thing. Don't worry too much. Most of my stuff is already packed and sitting in storage. Mostly I just have toys, clothes, movies, and the computer to pack. I can whip that all out tomorrow (I think). Ever the optimist I'm sure it will be fine.

Feelin' the luuuuv

I must thank everyone for their kind words. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to comment. I just love comments. I loved the suggestions on how to deal with Boyd. I'm torn between putting him in a box, then a bigger box, then mailing himself to me, then smashing the box with a hammer, or building an alter and sacrificing something, maybe a chicken, maybe a child, to Boyd. I'm still debating.

I realize that I really need to make little write-ups for my finished objects, not just pictures. I'll do my best to answer your questions.

Belle Epoque- The yarn was a mohair blend I bought off e-bay. It was the best thing about the sweater. After I made the sweater and tried several different sashes I decided that nothing I did was going to change the fact that the sweater made me took at best pregnant, at worst fat. I should have frogged it for the yarn, but I gave it to my sister. I don't know if she likes it or not, if she hates it maybe I should get it back and try to salvage the yarn.

Nicole Camisole- I used Microspun to make it and I love everything about it. It was easy to knit. I knit it in two days and took a third day to finish. There was an extrodinary amount of sewing on the camisole. I also made the matching thong, but I won't show pictures of that, it's not that kind of blog.

As far as my Corset goes, I did frog it and add two inches to the length. The length is now perfect. I really hope it doesn't grow too much after blocking. I need it to go wider and in my limited experience with blocking you can block only one direction at a time. It either goes longer and slimmer, or wider and shorter. I'm hoping for wider with not much shorter. I guess we shall see. I am currently working on the sleeves. When knitting the corset I put the armscye stitches on a stitch holder and used a provisional cast on for the bottom of the armscye. I've picked up and knit all those stitches. The top stitches are lined up with the ribbed pattern, the bottom stitches aren't, but it shouldn't matter. Who's going to look at my armpit to see if the ribbing matches up? I'm using short row shaping to create a sleeve cap and I think it will work just fine. I'm thinking of knitting 3/4 sleeves, but it all depends on how much yarn I have left. I ordered nine balls and I've only got three left. We'll see, but I really need to stop knitting and start packing (does that sound familiar? wasn't I saying the same thing four months ago? some people never change.)

Tiny brag. I talked to Pork Chop's teacher last night and Pork Chop is doing excellent in school. She is following the rules, and very social. I guess all the other girls want to sit by Pork Chop for stories and such. I've been told she plays well on the playground. She does her work and works very hard. The teacher actually left her name for the substitute teacher to go to if she had any questions. I'm so proud. I've always thought she was a remarkable child, but I'm her mom. I have to think that. It was nice to hear someone else concur.

Did you know Corsets are really tight?

What's this?



Is this an almost finished silk corset, knit on size 6 Addi Turbo circular needles (they really mean turbo), that just needs blocked and ends woven in, and buttons?



Nope, guess not. It really needs to be almost two inches longer. Unfortunately that involves ripping the I-cord bind off (a very cool technique) and 26 rows of lace and ribbing so I can add the length to the torso. I'm also not sure about the fit. I knit a size 38 inch chest, even though my own bosom is a mere flat 35 inches because I have heard this pattern runs small. But I could barely close the garment. I am hoping this will change after blocking, or I could just be smoking crack. There is plenty of give to the ribbing on the side and the back. I can easily pull the stupid thing over my head, but when it is on the silk corset feels like a... well... its tight like a corset. Plus I'm going to add sleeves. And since the pattern is sleeveless I'm really just going to wing it. I'm afraid the entire thing is going to be a disaster.

I blame this on Boyd.



Meet Boyd.

Sure he looks unassuming, but that scratchy aluminum contains a devious, diabolical mind.

Do not underestimate him merely because he lacks unopposable thumbs (or any thumbs for that matter) he is a cunning and crafty adversary.


He has been quiet since I banished him to the garage.

But I fear is he quiet because he is plotting his revenge.

I fear he is going to do something to sabotage my move this weekend.

Something against which I have no recourse.

I fear he will make it rain.

Did you know Boyd controls the weather?

sleep blogging

too tired

can't form complete sentences

why must kids show up at six am

then refuse to nap

must read other people's witty writing

too tired to create own

Death to Boyd

Having survived yesterday I now know. It was a little bit wrath, and a little bit of a test.

I think my post of humility pleased the Knitting Gods. They have accepted my humble offering of a frogged Knitted Corset and a ripped out duplicate knit flower. I feel they smile favorably upon me.

On the other hand my 30 inch size 6 Boyd needles are possessed by the devil himself and they spent yesterday in an active campaign of sabotage against me.

I know my box of AA batteries is around here somewhere. I could not have put them in Meaty's train because his train takes AAA. Boyd, GIVE ME MY BATTERIES. I know you think by hiding them you can avoid ugly pictures being posted on the internet. But you can't. I'm like the paparazzi. I can't be stopped. And punching me and breaking my camera will only make me more determined to get a picture of you in a compromising position.

Then Boyd tinkered with my printer. I have not yet successfully printed a copy of the knitted corset pattern.You're supposed to print the odd pages, then re-insert the paper in the printer and print the even pages so they make a nice booklet. I can never get my pages to face the same way. Yesterday I thought I'd be smart and mark which direction the paper went in so I could properly align it for the second side. Things looked great. The odd pages are beautiful. Then my computer just refused to print the even pages. It just froze. It ignored my requests. It just wouldn't print.

So I take my printed in all the wrong directions copy with me when I took my Mom to chemo yesterday. On the way we "happened" to pass our open LYS. So I stopped in real quick and bought a beautiful pair of size 6 24 inch Addis. As we continued on to chemo I could hear the Boyds in the back seat. "Those Addis are shorter than me." "You should have bought the 32 inch Addis." "They're going to be too short to knit Hopeful." "You're going to have to exchange them, but you probably won't be able to until next week."

Boyd kept up this stream of smack until I was convinced I shouldn't even look at the Addis, I should just vacuum seal them in the hopes that it would prove I hadn't used them and try to exchange them at a later date.

Once we arrived at chemo a quick check of the Hopeful pattern (saved as a word document in my palm, I love my palm) confirmed that Hopeful actually required a 24 inch circular needle. So these needles will indeed work for the corset as well as Hopeful. That shut Boyd up. He had no further arguments against me. He could only stew as I happily knit my corset off his ugly points and onto my new smooth shiny Addi.

But Boyd had a few more surprises in store. Well, two to be exact.

Boyd had played in my knitting bag. I didn't take my huge well-stocked for any knitting need knitting bag. I took my tiny, cute knitting basket that holds just what I need for one project. Imagine my surprise when I found I no longer had scissors, or a tapestry needle in my knitting bag. Instead I had a pacifier, a block, and my entire collection of crochet needles. Alright odd, but not really destructive substitutions. Then I realized Boyd's final act of betrayal. I only had half a ball of yarn in my bag. My second ball of yarn was missing.

Let me explain the full scope of his betrayal. Chemo day is my day to knit. I take the children to my very kind friend (who is so getting some great yarn and a pair of addis for this). She keeps them for the afternoon. I then drive my Mother for chemo. While she talks to the nurses and volunteers and social workers I knit. I sit in a chair and knit uninterrupted for two, sometimes three hours. I don't have to get up. I don't have to get anyone a drink, or change a diaper. I don't have to do a darn thing but drive her, knit, and drive her home. In fact a very nice volunteer brings ME a cup of hot chocolate and a brownie. I have found a perk in the awfulness that is cancer and chemo.

So there I was on my one day to knit with only half a ball of yarn. Darn Boyd for his betrayal, and Darn knit picks for such tiny balls.

Yet all this really worked against him. Having all my crochet hooks allowed me to get the perfect size to use for my provisional cast on, instead of just using the one in the knitting bag that would have been too small. Since I had no scissors I had to borrow some from the nurses, they then came and admired my work. Hey, who doesn't want their stuff to be ohhed and ahhed over? Then finally having only a half a ball of yarn forced me to knit slowly. I took my time on the armhole. I counted stitches two and three times. I did my provisional cast on slowly. I took my time and got it right. I did knit all my yarn. But as soon as I put my knitting away the chemo machine beeped to signal that it had done it's job and it was time to take the i.v. out and go home.

So Boyd. You were a worthy opponent. But I think I have bested you. You have earned your place in the garage with my unusable stash, my tiny balls of left-over yarn that I can't bear to part with because I am a hoarder. You shall remain in the garage until the move. Then you shall go in the basement. Thus shall be your punishment until I forget what you have done to offend me. And thanks to this blog it shall be a very long time.

Now I've gone and done it

I've always said the quickest way to get knocked off you're high horse is to climb up on it. And yesterday I got on my high horse. I publicly and proudly declared my new allegiance to Addi Turbos. I publically shunned the Boyd needles that had stood by me for five years. Needles that knit me my first real project (a baby blanket), and my first real sweater (Marnie's Gothic Lace sweater). Needles that technically hadn't done anything bad to me or my yarn.

And I was feeling smart yesterday. I had cast-on for the knitted corset and gotten all the way to the ribbing without any screw-up. Sure my armholes were too tight, but I was going to frog and use a different technique with those anyways. But the charts, no problem, and I'm using version two, they're up to revision five. So I was feeling pretty smart for using version two and having no trouble.

And I felt like I was getting the hang of this kid thing. So much so that I was going to go to the yarn store with all five children to pick up my adulterous Addi needles (what was I thinking, cheating in front of the children).

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

First let me recount the yarn store fiasco. It was a tiny one. My mother took the oldest girls on an unscheduled day trip yesterday so I only had Meaty, Bird, and Squeaky. Three children all under the age of three. We drive fifteen minutes to the LYS only to find it has changed it's hours and is now closed on mondays. No new needles for me. Plus Bird has fallen asleep at the unearthly early hour of 11:00 am. She sleeps a grand total of tweny minutes in the car and refuses her afternoon nap only to pass out on the couch at five, be in a bad mood for the rest of the evening and go to bed an hour late.

So I think I've got a handle on the child thing. After the girls return from their day trip where they eat nothing but ice cream we all go outside to play. Except Squeaky in napping, and my baby monitor is packed in the garage somewhere so I keep running in and out to make sure she is still sleeping, and I drive myself crazy. At some point in the afternoon Meaty and Bird decide to run away to the neighbor's house. She was gracious enough to bring them back. But when she did I was inside checking on Squeaky. I'm sure she thinks I was letting them roam the neighborhood with absolutely no supervision. From now on we don't play outside unless all five children are awake.

And as for the needles. The Gods of Knitting are displeased with me. I have offended them with my arrogance and hubris. I decided to wait until I could get new needles to work on my corset, so I turned to my afghan. I knit a new flower using only two shades of yellow instead of three. I also made it vertical instead of horizontal. I like the effect better, but I realized that I need a darker shade of light green. It should really be more of a medium green. I also realized that I just hate this flower and I need to find a different design or have The Greatest make me a different design because I'm never going to be happy with this rose.

I tried to take pictures for my blog, but my camera batteries dies and I can't find the new batteries. I've got a box somewhere. I thought they were right on the computer desk. I have pictures of the flowers and the Boyds. I was going to make fun of them and show how they are bent wierd and how the points are all scratched. I was going to say that the Patron Saint of Knitting weeps at the thought of me knitting with these terrible needles. The Gods of Knitting are displeased and stole my batteries. (that or I put them all in Meaty's train and forgot).

So I turn to my Boyds and my corset. I had to cast on four times yesterday. I kept losing or adding stitches. Nothing I did came out right. And my needles were shedding color. My Left index finger earned a blue streak for my trouble. It is angry. I am penetent. Please forgive me, and don't turn my silk/alpaca blend blue.

I'm still running out and buying the Addi's today if I can steal a half hour. I'm sure I'll have a tale of fresh wrath tomorrow. That or this is all a challenge to see if I deserve the Addis. Testing me to see if I want them badly enough, making me earn them.

On the plus side I do have The Greatest's blessing to buy them. Try the argument on your husbands. It might work. Be sure to use the word "investment." Candsmom is right. Men love that word!

Personal snobbery

By nature I am not a snob. I try very hard to be inclusive of other people's choices. I naively believe that most people are good honest people and the choices they make are ones they truly believe are the best for their lives/goal/dreams/personalities etc. While these choices may not be the best for me (and in some cases not the best choices for the people making the decisions) I try to be understanding and not look down on anyone else for the decisions they make. I was very much an outcast in high school. I know being judged harshly hurts, so I try not to judge other people.

Having said that I think I'm turning into a snob.

Yesterday I finished Bird's socks. She loves them. She actually likes having me put them on her. It's the polar opposite of her reaction to the cable sweater (which still needs blocked and buttons). I'm so happy. I digress.

After finishing the socks I toyed with the idea of making other socks. I still have yarn for two more pairs of socks. But I realized that I really didn't want to make another pair of socks. I just wanted to keep using my Addis. So instead I swatched and cast on for the Knitted Corset (see button on side for link to corset along). A project that requires size six needles, not two size zero circular wonderful Addis. So far things with the corset are going well, I've got the top hem, the armhole and an inch of the ribbing done. I haven't hit the complicated charts that everyone has trouble with. Although my bind off for the arm holes is too tight and I have to frog it and try again. Again I digress. I'm talking about snobbery.

Here's where the snobbery part comes in. I'm knitting my corset on an old pair of size six Boyd needles. They are old and scratched up and I hate them. The bend is weird, the cord is awkward, the are too thick. In short they are everything my Addis aren't. I hate them. Sure my knitting is fine. Addis don't improve the quality of my knitting. They aren't magic needles that ensure my stitches are even and my gauge is always right. They just make the knitting experience itself more enjoyable. So much so that today I am going to take all five children to my LYS to pick up a pair of size six Addis. I really need a new pair of size six circulars anyways. Did I mention that the points on mine are all scratched up? And as long as I'm buying a size I obviously use a lot (how do you think they go all scratched up)I might as well buy a quality pair that will last. Plus I can turn around and use them to knit Hopeful. I know I don't need to justify myself to you, but I might have to with The Greatest. Especially since payday isn't until Friday and I'm buying them today. I think I have a sound argument going. What do you think?

And if you knit with Boyd circular needles I promise not to think less of you, this is just the right decision for MY knitting needs.

Exhaustion

As a mother of three children I thought I knew tired. I thought I'd been there and pretty much done all that. I've been up all night with two sick children before. I've stayed up breast feeding newborns every forty-five minutes and then taken care off my family all day long just to stay up the next night breast feeding all over again. I thought I knew. But I've learned all I know is sleep-deprivation. Now I know exhaustion.

My sister went back to work last week and I am now the proud caregiver to her almost five year old daughter and her 12 week old baby, in addition to my own three children. Don't get me wrong. I love it. Her older daughter who will hence forth be called Bounce because that is all she does, she bounces from idea to idea all day long, with boundless energy...where was I going with this? Oh yeah, Bounce is funny, soooo funny. And the baby, Squeaky (cause she doesn't cry she squeaks) is so pretty. I love her little square face. But it's a lot of physical work. I can barely check my e-mail, let alone blog. The only time I knit this week was when I took my Mom to chemo and when I went to knitting group on Friday. I'm exhausted. I literally fall asleep as soon as the children do. I'm tired. This is going to take some getting used to.

In the realm of happy happy happy news. I'm moving in two weeks. We've been staying with my Parents since May, and now it is time for us to move out into our own little apartment for a while. The apartment is next door to Pork Chop's school, so she can walk and I can watch her the entire time. No more bus stop with four children in the rain for us. I'm so happy. Blogging might get sporatic for a bit, and might diappear entirely depending on how long it takes to get the dsl hooked-up in the apartment. But hang in there.

In the realm of general musings, would it be wrong if I refused to knit on anything but Addi turbos, or if I knit all future projects on my size 0 addi turbos until I can afford to buy more. I don't want to be a snob, but I definatly have snob potential.

And finally leave you here's a conversation between my Mom and Bounce while reading a book

"Grammy, what's that with the witch"

"A cat"

"why does she have a cat"

"Some witches just do. Some have cats"

"Aunt Goddess (that's me) has a cat"

"Yes, yes she does"

Should I be offended?

I hate feet, so why do I love socks?

Pattern: Wendy's Toe Up Sock Pattern

Yarn: Knit Picks Sock Garden in Hydrangea

Needles: Two Addi Turbo Size 0 Circular Needles

Modifications: I measured Pork Chops foot and cast on to make it fit around her foot, and knitted it to fit just past the length of her foot (I don't want her to outgrow them next month). I did the leg part of the sock in ribbing.

Review: I really like the colors of this yarn. I thought the stripes were very cute. I'm making a matching pair for Bird. I am finding the sock a little hard to get on. It doesn't make the turn at the ankle well, so on Bird's sock I'm adding a few stitches to the front of the sock to give it a little extra room at the turn. Pork Chop had the best time modeling the socks for me. We couldn't decide if we wanted to cuff the socks or not. We finally agreed to cuff one sock for the photo op and leave the other one up. Pork Chop likes to cuff her socks under pants, but leave them up with dresses. Someday her fashion choices will embarass her. Hopefully these socks won't.

Finally Finished Objects

I know I promised finished objects last week, but you know, life gets all crazy, and yeterday was chemo day so you can't expect me on Tuesdays, and now I'm watching my Sister's two girls as well as my own, it'll take me a week or so to find a new rhythm. In the meantime I did steal twenty minutes this morning while Dora was on to post some finished thing. I typed all of it one handed while giving the baby a bottle. See how much I love you guys.

Coming soon: a tale of knitting stupidity (and by soon I mean next month or so)

Baby Hat

Pattern: No pattern, just you're basic roll brim hat. I guess technically this is my pattern.

Needles: Size 6 bamboo 16 inch circular needle

Review: This was just a cute hat I threw together one evening for my friend's baby. I did make the decreases on the top of the hat mimic the pinwheel swirl of the Pinwheel Baby Blanket



I'm pretty proud of that part. I'd forgotten how fun it is to knit cute baby accessories.

Baby Booties

Pattern: Stay On Booties

Yarn: Bernat I threw the label away but I think Baby Softee

Needles: Five size 0 dpns

Modifications: None

Review: Such a cute and easy pattern. I churned out a bootie in one evening. I had to knit three booties. The first was much larger than the second. Luckily the third matched the second one. I might knit a fourth on size 1 dpns and see if it matches the original bootie.

Pinwheel Baby Blanket

Pattern: Pinwheel Baby Blanket

Yarn: Bernat I threw the label away but I think it was Softee Baby

Needles: US 7, dpn and circular

Modifications: None

Review: I can not say enough about how much I love this pattern. It was simple yet interesting to knit. The finished result looks complicated and impressive. I did have to cast on seven or eight times before I got the hang of it. I'll probably knit this pattern again, but in a heavier worsted weight yarn. I had over eight hundred stitches when I cast off.

I knit this for a friend of mine, and could not post it until I had given it to her. But her baby is now happily using it so I can share it with the world.



Here's a close up of the middle

Tag I'm it!

Just for the record I'm neglecting four children and feeding a fifth child a bottle while I type this one handed.

Hope the other four don't
a) learn to count
b) realize how hideously they out number me and
c) stage a bloody coup

Having said that, here I go

Ten years ago

I was 19, starting my sophomore year of college. I was rooming with my very best friend in the whole wide world. I had a boyfriend I had been dating all summer (little did I know he was the Anti-Christ) and I had just dyed my hair jet black and got it cut in a long bob with bangs. I thought I looked good. (and just for the record I did, I got a lot of compliments on that look although when I did it I didn't realize I was going to look so much like Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction). I was very happy at the time. I was young and pretty and in love (never mind he was the wrong guy).

Five years ago

I was living in Chicago in military housing with The Greatest. Pork Chop was just a few months old and she had colic. She had colic until she was six months old. She would cry everyday from 3:00 to 11:00. It was so awful. I was actually relieved to go back to work because that meant I could escape the screaming for a few hours each day (nevermind the mommy guilt I felt from being relieved to leave my child). The Greatest and I were also overjoyed to have this baby we had worked so hard to conceive. We were over the moon over our tiny miracle. I gave up quilting around this time. I kept losing straight pins and I was terrified the baby would roll on or crawl on an errant pin. I learned to knit. I figured I could keep track of two knitting needles. Little did I know it would become an obsession, and knitting needles are harder to keep track of than one might think.

One year ago

Fall last year was when our bad year started. Nuff said on the bad part. Bird was just a month older that Pork Chop was five years before that. And despite her being a big surprise we were equally over the moon over her. The Greatest and I have always taken great joy in being together and with our children. No matter how bad things get as long as we can still laugh together I know we'll be alright.

Five Snacks

This is what I'm all about FOOD
Dibs
Chocolate Ice Cream with marshmallow topping
Oreos with Milk
Cheese Cake, but real not Jello (although that will do in a pinch)
Dairy Queen Chocolate Lovers Ice Cream Cake

How bad is it that four of five were some form of chocolate and three were ice cream, no wonder I've been gaining weight lately.

Five Songs I Know All the Words To

What I got by Sublime
Santa Monica by Everclear
Mr. Jones by Counting Crows
Victor Vito by Lori Berkner
Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani (it's Pork Chop's favorite song)


Five things I would do with a Million Dollars

buy a house for my parents
buy myself a house
have a college fund for my kids
have one more child
become a yarn and needle snob, but always remember my acrylic roots

Five Places to run away to

Is this after I win the lottery or on my current budget?

Pennsylvania in the fall
the beach any where where the water is warm
the Mediterranean (that covers Spain, Italy, turkey, the whole Mediterranean sea)
my swing out back
cheesy motel where I spent my honeymoon

Five things I would never wear

halter tops, I've got no boobs to hold them up
leg warmers
pointy toed shoes, my feet are too wide
daisy duke shorts (are they still called that? I fear I'm showing my age these days)

This last one is something I regret I'll never wear.
A big fancy white wedding dress with a veil. I didn't have one when I married The Greatest. I wore a simple cream colored lace dress with cream roses in my hair. It was fine, but I'm always filled with longing when I look at a bride in a fancy white dress. I wanna wear one, I wanna look like a princess, but since I don't intend on being married again I guess I'll pass. If not wearing a white dress at my wedding is my only regret in life, then I have lived a charmed life indeed.

Five favorite TV shows

The Family Guy, so funny it's wrong, or is it so wrong it's funny
Prisons Break, it's new, I like it
Days of our lives, I've been watching this since I was 12, that's over half my life now invested in these people
Boston Legal, two words, Danny Crane
Dora the Explorer, hey the four potential rebels are currently watching it right now

Five biggest joys

My family
My friends
My yarn
Chocolate
a really clean house (I think that says something bad about me and I need help)

Five favorite toys

does my yarn count again
digital camera
my blog
my Palm
my new fancy camera phone

Five people to pass this on to

I think everyone I "know" has done this. If you stumble by my blog and you haven't done this please feel free to run with it. It was fun. Thanks Knittin' Mom

I have a really good excuse

I know I know. I promised. The worst part is I didn't even make dinner yesterday. I had Gabe buy the kids Happy Meals. Such a bad mommy/knitter/blogger. After I got home from knitting group I had to clean. Then I got Pork Chop off the bus. Then the kids wanted to play outside. We spent the rest of the day outside. It was really nice. We have bench swings set up in the side yard. I sat on the bench swing and worked on my socks while the children played. From the side yard I can see the children playing on the swing set in the front yard and see Bird toddling about doing her own thing in the back yard flower beds. But mostly I can see the flower bed along the side of the house. It is full of autumn blooms. They are lavender and beautiful. They are also full of life, small bees, big fat bumble bees, random insects and butterflies were all flitting around, quietly going about their business with the gentle hum that accompanies insect life. Between the hum, rhythm of the swing and the general soothing-ness of knitting my soul was at peace. That doesn't happen much these days. I was told this theory once about the tender mercies of God. The gist of it is that life is hard. By it's very nature it is a trial to be endured. We must endure tragedy to learn and grow. Sometimes things happen that God just can't stop or we would never progress. But there is no joy for him in our sorrow. So instead he sends us tiny pieces of pure joy, or contentment, or beauty. Small slivers of time that are comforting. These are his tender mercies. Comedy's I'm not sure what I believe about God. But at other times, like yesterday on the swing, I can feel him beside me. I chose to sit with him yesterday and watch my children play, and hear the insects, and feel the breeze, and marvel at the beauty he has created, and be at peace. I know you'll forgive me for abandoning you.

This afternoon I promise

I know I promised pictures today, but I've got a half hour until I need to leave for knitting group and I still haven't had a shower. Can't be the stinky girl with the pretty yarn. Gotta blow off the blog in favor of showering. I would have had time, but at seven thirty I remembered that today is a school day. So I had to get Pork Chop ready for school. Then I realized we hadn't done her homework yet. When I pulled out her homework (coloring shapes, I love Kindergarten) I found flyers to picture day and scholastic book orders, both were due TODAY. TODAY IS PICTURE DAY! So then we had a mad scramble to find something to wear for pictures, plus arguing over how to do her hair (I won the clothes battle, lost the hair). Had to pick out picture packets and choose books (I can't let my child be the only kid in class without a book order, I remember how sad that felt). Had to write checks. I was making her eat her cheerios as we were walking out the door to get to the bus stop. But by golly we got to the bus stop on time. The younger two were still in their pajamas and I was only vaguely dressed (maybe that's why the bus driver is always waving at me) but we were there. The universe is against me today.

On the plus side I got tagged. I love getting tagged. I'll do that this afternoon too. I promise. Really I will. I'll skip making dinner today so I'll have time to blog. The kids can have cheerios for two out of three meals right?

In an unrelated not Knitty is up and I love Josephine. I'll never have time to knit it. Anyone want to knit it for me?

Vamping

Official Flower Count = -1

I know, I know. Why do I keep torturing myself by thinking about it? I should just knit my socks and be happy. Speaking of socks, they are coming along beautifully but I won't bore you with another picture of stripes until I've finished the heel. Instead here's a picture The Greatest took of a hummingbird in our backyard.



What relevance does this have to anything? None really. I just thought it was cool.

And here is a picture of Bird playing with bubbles.



Again no real relevance, just cute. And for the record I about hyperventilated myself blowing all those bubbles. No, not really. I've got a cool bubble gun. In fact I sat out last night listening to the crickets and playing with the bubble gun long after the children had grown bored with it and gone inside. It was so peaceful, and the bubbles were so pretty floating in the light breeze. One of those perfect autumn nights that makes you long for a few more months of summer instead of the long looming winter.

Mostly today I am stalling for time. I've got finished objects. I've got about eight pictures to show and a story of knitting stupidity, but I can't show it until tomorrow. You'll know why tomorrow. Cryptic isn't it. Come back tomorrow.

Avoiding the flowers, one day at a time

Official Flower Count = -1

What can I say? There is nothing I can say to defend myself. I'm still working on Pork Chops socks. I can't help it. They're fascinating to watch knit. They have the cutest thin stripes. I just love it. See.



I'm almost to the heel. Then I think I want to do a thin cable up the leg, but I think I'll have to turn the sock inside out so when I fold the cuff down the cable will show. I'll figure it out. I also want to make a matching pair for Bird if I have enough yarn left over. They would be so cute. I have a sickness where I have to dress my girls in similar or better yet matching outfits. Besides take a look at this poor Baby



She's so deprived she has to play in a shoe box. She deserves a pair of hand-knitted socks. Wonder if she would actually wear them or if I would have another Cable Sweater on my hands. I've truly got an illness. I want to knit things for my daughter who refuses to wear them, meanwhile I've got The Greatest who supports my knitting habit, buys me yarn, buys me fancy needles I would never buy for myself, and is all around completely wonderful. He just wants one lousy sweater and I go to great lengths to avoid working on it. I'm got a problem. Ok to be honest I've got problems. I'll get help after I finish the heel turn...and the cables...and the matching pair for Bird...and the pink/yellow pair for me...

I've been bad girl

Official Flower Count = -0

I really meant to be a good girl. I swore I wasn't going to swatch. But the universe was conspiring against me and let's face it, you can't fight the entire universe.

It all started on Saturday. I hopped online to check my email and I had a few minutes when I was done so I went blog hopping. I saw on Rincaro's Blog that she was making socks with the same Hydrangea yarn that I have, and they look fabulous. I was so jealous, yet I maintained my self-control and refused to swatch. Instead I worked on a project that is almost done but super-secret and therefore un-bloggable. This was allowed since I started this project before the afghan (see how this works, I can finish old projects in my efforts to avoid duplicate knit, I just can't start any new ones).

Then on Sunday The Greatest and I had a fight. A huge he-says-he's-leaving-so-I-say-don't-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out fight. Don't worry it only lasted fifteen minutes. When we were done yelling I went upstairs to make dinner for the kids. When I came back downstairs I found this on my bed.



"You can't buy your way back into my good graces with an early birthday present"

"I'm not trying to."

"Then what's that for."

"It's for you."

"I'll just wait until tomorrow to open it."

"You can wait if you want but you'll be sorry tomorrow."

"Why? It's not alive is it."

"No. You'll just be sorry."

"If you're trying to test my will-power it won't work. I'm not opening it."

"That's fine, but you'll be sorry."

I lasted an hour. An hour later I opened it and found this.



The Greatest had gone to a yarn store all by himself and bought me two size 0 circular needles because he knew I needed them so I could try knitting two socks at the same time. What's that? You can't really see the needles? Let me show you a close-up.



That's right. He bought me TWO size 0 Addi Turbo needles. So you can see why I had to just start using them right then and there. The universe was against me. I'm not a bad person. Who would have the will-power under circumstances like that. Don't hate me.



Aren't they cute? They're for Pork Chop. I suppose I should have started socks for The Greatest since he was so nice and all, but I wanted to get the hang of socks on circular needles before I messed up his yarn. And for the record I love the two circular needle method. It's going to completely eleminate the second sock syndrome. I just hate knitting that second sock. And the addi turbos are divine. I think they've ruined me for all other needles. I love this sock yarn. I can see how yarn snoobery and needle snobbery evolve. I must not be a snob, I must not be a snob, I must win the lottery so I can afford to be a snob.

The birthday love continued on Monday when The Greatest watched the children so I could spend two hours shopping with my Mom and my Sister. I got a few new shirts, a new pair of sunglasses (Bird snapped mine in half during church on Sunday) and this.



Isn't it cute? I just love hats. I had a brown one in college that I just loved and wore everywhere. My ex-boyfriends sister stole it during the break-up. Kristen Mason I hate you and I still want my hat back. This one is way cuter and I think I'll wear it everyday for a week just because.

In addition to snapping my sunglasses in half, Bird had also broken my Mother's Necklace. I got a call from the jewelry store that it was fixed and I could pick it up. So I got my necklace back on my Birthday.

And to finish the Birthday love I got this.



It's a Dairy Queen Chocolate Lover Ice Cream Cake. It has chocolate frosting, chunks of chocolate and brownie on top, two different kinds of chocolate ice cream, plus the layer of fudge crunch in the middle. Yum!

Since my birthday was also a National Holiday we grilled, all my siblings stopped by, the weather was perfect outside, it was a great day.

I swear I'll get back to the flowers next week, after I finish Pork Chop's socks.....and socks for The Greatest since he's been so great.....and my socks too because darn it I deserve to knit something for myself. As long as I finish the afghan by christmas it should be alright shouldn't it?

Didn't Dahlmer start out this way?

I was feeling domestic yesterday and I did a boatload of laundry. As I was carrying a load of folded sheets upstair to put in the linen closet I passed Pork Chop's bedroom and was surprized to see her just laying on her bed in the middle of the day. I asked if she was alright.

"Yeah, but I'm just a little sad"

Sitting on the bed
"Why are you sad baby?"

"Well, I'm pretending I had a hamster named Toby, but he died, and the heating vent is his grave and I put my Princess Pillow at the top so people will know he's buried there, and now I'm sad cause he's dead."

"Is everything alright Baby?"

"Yeah, I'm just playing."

OK, a little odd, but role playing is good right? It's a good thing that she's got an imagination and not at all wierd that she's role playing a dead hamster. So I go and put the sheets away. As I pass her room a second time I hear.

"Toby is that you?"

And she starts frantically clawing at the carpet by the vent.

"Whatcha doin' Pork Chop?"

"I thought I heard Toby, so I need to dig him up and see if he's still alive."

OK then, I'm just gonna go do more laundry and pretend I didn't see this. I'm sure pretending to bury your hamster alive is completely normal behavior and not at all an indicator of homocidal tendencies.

My new favorite thing

My new very favorite thing in the whole wide world, the thing I may love more than my children, The Greatest and life itself is....SCHOOL. I just love sending Pork Chop to school. As a small bonus she loves it too.

Yesterday I packed her up and put her on the bus. While I blogged yesterday Meat and Bird sat on a step looking at books together. I ran a few errands and for some reason it was easier with just two children, despite the fact that those children both wanted carried at the same time. I was in and out and even bought them M&Ms because they were just being so good. Then after lunch I put Bird down for a nap and put Dumbo on for Meaty, but without anyone to play with HE took a much needed nap. The house was silent and I got to knit for an hour and a half uninterrupted. I also got to watch my soaps. I haven't watched them in weeks, yet somehow I haven't missed much. Marlene still has amnesia, Sammy is still lying, Whitney is still in a convent, and Ethan is still a spineless idiot. Then the children got up just in time to get Pork Chop from the bus. They were so excited to see each other after their long separation the three children played together while I made a proper dinner for a change (chicken Parmesan with noodles, steamed broccoli and salad).

I felt like my day was a Norman Rockwell painting. These are the parenting days you dream about when you're rubbing your pregnant belly swollen with your first child, before you are hit with the sleep-deprived mess of bodily fluids that really is parenthood. It was truly magical, tantrums were minimal, children were cooperative and I didn't once have to pull out the steam cleaner. If only every day could pull together so seamlessly.

My flower count is still 0. It ought to be -1 because I still have to rip out the bad flower. My Pinwheel Blanket is up to 680 stitches. I'm to the border and hope to cast off today. Then it's Rosebud City for me. Chant with me: I will be good I will not swatch, I will be good, I will not swatch, I will be good, I will not swatch, I will be good, I will not swatch much.