Confessions of a Bad Blogger

I used to think in blog posts. I viewed every aspect of my life as potential blog fodder. Was my observation witty enough to publish? Were my children cute enough to entertain the masses? Was my knitting disastrous enough to share? (because let's face, my knitting disasters were always much more interesting than my knitting success). But these days? Not so much.

I'm too tired to string words together let alone plan entire blog entries with correct grammar and spelling (never my strong suit anyways). My kids are being too well behaved lately, no shaving cream, no dog food, no crisco. In fact Meaty has taken to making his bed and cleaning his room. And by cleaning his room I don't mean shoving everything in his closet (the girl's chosen method of cleaning). The kid actually puts his little people things in his little people basket. His train engines go in his train drawer. And only blocks are allowed in the block box in his room. He explained to me that now he can find his toys. Isn't this one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

See what I mean? I just proved my point. Meaty cleaning his room isn't nearly as interesting a story to read as Meaty painting his room with jello would have been. (I painted my room with jello once. I was in college.)

So blog fodder doesn't just jump into my lap as it used to. I'm sure in a year when my house once again has a toddler I will be full of stories of domestic disaster. In the meantime I'm tired. And very very round. I'm pretty sure I'm carrying triplets. One baby in my tummy, and one baby in each thigh. In fact my thighs are petitioning as we speak to be granted their own zip code. And despite the fact that they touch all day long, they will not be content to share a zip code. Each thigh demands a zip code of its very own. I spend a lot of my time eating to get this big.

This absence from blogging has led to an unexpected freedom of sorts. In addition to eating every hour on the hour because I'm so dag-gone hungry, I've given in to a full blown case of knitting ADD. I don't have to show anyone what I'm knitting. I'm free to flit from project to project with no accountability to anyone at all. I've cast on and promptly discarded projects with wanton abandon. I don't have to take carefully staged pictures of the process, trying to capture the perfect light that shows the true color. I'm not disappointing anyone who's anxiously awaiting FO pictures. There is no progress bar sitting there taunting me. I don't have to justify why I cast on for another pair of socks, when I already have seven on the needles. No one but me knows that I've had a pair of tiny pants sitting in a bowl of water to block for over a week and I feel no pressure to actually take them out and lay them flat to dry. In fact no one but Katrina even knows I've knit a pair of tiny pants. I currently have a project on every Addi Turbo Needle I own. This is not an exaggeration. I've also put three projects on stitch holders so I could use those Addis to cast on different projects.

It truly is out of control. And I'm loving this new freedom, the complete lack of accountability in my knitting. I've been knitting only the things I want to knit, when I feel like knitting them. It almost feels like a relaxing hobby again. So what if I have two dozen projects on the needles and am contemplating casting on a new one today. It's only yarn. I'm not hurting anyone. And Meaty's too busy sorting his cars into the appropriate bin to notice what I'm up to anyways.

Never fear. This complete abandonment into childish self-indulgence won't last much longer. Nesting is starting to set in. The walls and windows are the first casualty undergoing a vigorous scrubbing. (I highly recommend using vinegar, baking soda, and ammonia to clean walls. My walls are so white I swear they glow.) The toys are next, about to undergo yet another sort and purge session. I will HAVE-TO-RIGHT-THIS-VERY-SECOND buy baby furniture soon. I've done this before. I remember the steps. As the birth of my fourth child draws closer I will begin to feel pressure to actually finish or frog these objects that I am so carelessly creating. Soon I will be overrun with FO Reports. This might actually turn into a productive knitting blog once again.

Until then I think I might cast on those Hot Wheels socks in my blue Tofutsies for Meaty. He deserves them after all his hard work.

Or I might go wring out the pants and lay them to dry. Now that people know they exist they might want to see them. And the light will be perfect for pictures in about six hours..........