Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Some people have crack, I have knitting.

Somedays it's hard to put things into words. Trying to distill the moments of your life into an interesting blog post. When you're just busy with life, it's hard to find the time to form the words. To edit them. To spell check five times and still find a mistake three seconds after you post a blog entry. Add depression to the mix and it can be hard to find the energy to form the words. To know where to begin. What to say. You're often sick of yourself, so the last thing you want to do is spend more time thinking about yourself. You're tired of listening to your internal dialogue, so you're pretty sure no one else wants to hear it either. And the longer you go without posting the harder it is to know where to begin.

I've been accused of knitting too much. People ask how much I knit, and it really is two, three, sometimes four hours a day. Every day. (Let's not even begin to talk about how much I knit during Sock Madness) I need the stress relief, the soothing motion of my hands. Heck, if you're reading this I probably don't have to justify myself to you. You suffer from the same affliction. I've had snotty housewives tell me they wish they had that kind of time on their hands, as if I sit and knit all day while my children swing from the light fixtures and poke holes in the walls with my unused needles. How I wish that were the case. Do you know how much I could get done, and hey, I know how to spackle. No, my kids are unusually good while I knit. They are most likely sleeping. Knitting at nap time or after bed time is an important part of my life.

No I am not knitting when the children do something like this.

Operation Smelly Mommy

Where was I Thursday morning when the children decided to enter the garage, fill it with toys, spread half the contents of a 50 lb bag of dog food on the floor, and throw around some miracle grow powder for a splash of color?

I was not so absorbed in my *K2 tog, yo that I didn't hear the garage door close. I wasn't so interested in my soaps that I failed to notice the tell-tale silence that followed. I was not so high on crack that I didn't really care what was going on. I was not doing any of the things you think a typical neglectful mother would be doing.

I was in the shower.

And this was the second time that week the children had done this. Remember they only spread half the bag of dog food on the floor. That's because they had spread the other half of the brand new bag of dog food on the floor on Monday. While I was in the shower on Monday.

I don't know what has caused them to start this new Operation Smelly Mommy campaign. They got lots of candy for Easter. So much candy that a tooth actually fell out of Pork Chop's mouth that night. (Don't worry Grandparents. I'll post pictures of that tomorrow, probably). So it can't be low blood sugar. They own (and this is just a rough estimate) a billion movies, to it can not be a media related protest. Their art supplies are well stocked, so this isn't a release of pent up artistic expression. I'm not sure what is behind this new aggression towards Mommy.

So now it appear that I can add showering to the list of activities that are unsafe to attempt while the children are awake. This list already includes smoking crack, having adult conversations, and going to the bathroom with the door closed.

Do you understand why I need to knit four or more hours a day?


Tactless Wonder said...

My mom hasn't gone to the bathroom by herself for going on 5 years now...she babysits my brother's kids pretty much 24/7.

On a positive note:
If there is no more dog food, they can't do it again!

Bezzie said...

Now you know why Chunky goes to bed at 7:00 p.m. Seems a little early for a 5 y.o., but, those sweet hours between his bedtime and my bedtime are when I get everything done.
But now I'm getting paranoid about showering...!

Amy said...

Why is it when we're in the shower that they do the most evil? I remember coming downstairs from a shower to hear, "Mommy, look! It's snowing in the kitchen!!!"
Insane. I still think you're a fast knitter. You finish a sweater in a day and a half and you're only knitting four hours a day??!!!???!
Just kidding, sweetie. Missed 'hearing' from you.

Knittypants said...

2,3,4 hours a day. No I'm sure that's normal. You have a lot on your plate and you have found a healthy stress reliever. Not only does it help you relax, but you are creating beautiful handknits.

bunchkin said...

Oh, that's so frustrating! I am always leary to take a shower when the kiddos are awake, and if I do I usually take the 2 younger ones in the shower with me, which makes shower time oh so relaxing. Knitting is my crack, too. Why else would I have started hyperventilating at Michaels today when I saw the new Cottonease?

shiguy4076 said...

I completely understand. Remember you said it's creativity when my girls did their little baking soda and salt art. Just think one day they will have their own kids and they will have teh joy of cleaning up their art. Giggle.

Steff said...

I think you should knit leashes and handcuffs for when you need to get clean.

:D lol

As a SAHM of 3 who also likes to occasionally not smell bad, I completely understand! ;)


km said...

I found you on "Blogs I read...Yarn Slayer". I read your current post and then a few back. Your "crack" is my "crack" too. And apparently for the same reasons. I often fear that my kiddos, 5, 4, and 2...will burn down the house while I shower. I wondered if it was me...or just my kids. Thanks for posting this...for being vulnerable...my kids are like yours. That makes me feel normal. KM