Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Recreate and Repeat

So my love for Pinterest is infinite and knows no bounds.

The Greatest has come to loathe the words "So I saw this thing on Pinterest..." because it means I've found a new project for HIM to do.  But in my defense there are so many things I want to do from Pinterest I can't possibly do them all myself.  I'm sharing the work load.  Isn't that what marriage is all about?  Having someone to make the heavy labor Pinterest projects for you?

I recently saw this pin on Pinterest



And it resonated with me.

I've been tired.

Really really tired.

Three years of not sleeping through the night will do that too you (a saga that belongs on my other blog, if I ever get the time lol)

I don't have anything left.  I have no patience.  I have no desire to do the things I love. Or even just the things I have to do.  I have difficulty remembering things and concentrating on things, so doing things seems to take so much more energy than it used to.  I know it sounds a lot like depression, but I've been depressed and that's not this.

I'm just so very tired.

My children think I'm in a constant bad mood.  They come home from school every day asking how I feel and if I'm in a good mood.  This makes me unspeakably sad.  I'm not in a bad mood.  I'm just too tired for a good mood.

My well is empty and I need to refill it.

I need to recreate and repeat.

This refills my well.


It is probably the worst, and the most real photo ever to grace my blog.  Sweet cheese and crackers it isn't even in focus.  I didn't check the lighting.  I did no staging.  Half eaten plates, empty wine glasses decorate the table.  I've only got an eye brow in the frame.  But I love this picture.  Pork Chop was babysitting all of our kids that night.  She sent me the cutest picture of all the children eating pizza, so this was our response.  The grown ups table.  All the adults playing hooky for the evening.  I had trouble getting dressed to go out.  I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear.  My favorite jeans were dirty.  My back up jeans didn't want to go up past my thighs.  I cried to my group chat where they helpfully reminded me "leggings don't judge."  So I wore leggings.  And shirt that said "nothing to wear."  I embraced where I was in life.  And I wore my ridiculous stiletto cut out booties that I love and insist on wearing everywhere since I don't have anywhere special to wear them.

So the take away from this, the things to recreate and repeat are:

  • leggings (no lie, I bought six new pairs the next week, including a pair of jeggings.  More leggings?  Done!)
  • ridiculous heel (does this mean I get to wear my heels more or that I get to buy more heels?  It's a win win either way)
  • and night out with friends.  Must schedule more nights with friends.


And thinking of things I wore that I loved...I loved how I looked today



For reals its nothing special.  I spent five minutes on my make up.  Even less on my hair.  But I felt pretty.  And I love my floral kimono.  Wearing kimonos makes me super happy.  They're like knit cardigans (which I own an abundance of), but slippery.  And I always get complimented on them.

Recreate and repeat?
  • buy more kimonos.  
  • Like one a week. 
  • It's good for my soul.

This morning I fixed The Queen's sneakers


The velcro tab was sewn on poorly and ripped right off the first time she wore them.  And of course the first time she wore them was to physical therapy, so she had barefoot PT that day.  Another Mom in the waiting room saw what happened and shook her head saying "you need to take those back."  And maybe I should have.  But she was assuming I had any earthly idea where the receipt was.  Which I don't.  And finding the appropriate receipt from the depths of the diaper bag or the drawer where I shove the receipts when the diaper bag gets too full felt like a Herculean task.  Not to mention standing in line at customer service with the Queen is my own personal version of hell.  The Queen has a finite amount of time she is willing to behave in the store, and that finite amount of time must be squandered on running around buying luxuries like milk.  The last time I had to return something to customer service it was such an ordeal I cried.  I don't want to deal with customer service ever again.  (see, little things feel so exhausting) So I fixed the shoes.  I sewed the velcro back on.  It took ten minutes.  But those ten minutes felt like me.  Or the version of me I want to be.  I don't discard broken things.  I fix them.

Recreate and repeat?

  • find ways to avoid customer service at all costs
  • be crafty
  • ????
  • profit?
Speaking of being crafty, I finished the body of my Good Sweater


Right now it feels like my "meh" sweater.

I'm not feeling it.  

It's probably because it needs sleeves.  And the collar isn't sewn down so its weird in the back.  And it needs blocked so the edges will stop curling.  

But the sleeves are knit from the top down with short rows and I just don't wanna do it.  And must we once again list all the reasons I hate blocking.   I love the end result but I hate blocking.  Hate hate hate it!  I don't wanna block it and you can't make me.

See even knitting feels like a chore right now.  

Send sleep!

And kimonos!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Catching up on all the good stuff

So another holiday season has come and gone.

With no blog post.

Bad blogger.

I have to confess I never felt very Christmas-y.

It was all there.

All the parts of Christmas were there.  We had the trees.



The school Christmas pageant where our very own Sweet Pea had a speaking role (which she rocked!  I'm so proud of my girl).  We had entirely too much candy and too many cookies.



We had family, no only my Dad and Stepmommy, but my brother came too!



We had Christmas lights, and presents, and love.

And I wasn't feeling it.

What's wrong with me?

It's probably the exhaustion.

Or it could be the fact that I never finished my super awesome holiday sweater.

I reblocked it to see if I could make it more of a dress.


I think it's still a touch on the short side.


Plus it makes me look pregnant.

I'm not loving that.

So I need to rip it back to shirt proportions.

I just don't have the heart.

In the mean time good things happened

My baby turned 3.


 And my baby turned 9.



And my baby turned 14.


The Queen started Preschool



I got another cat (phase two of my transformation into a crazy cat lady: complete)


We rang in the new year


Surrounded by my bestest friends


So all good things here.

Just need to frog that dress into the shirt it was meant to be.

As soon as gather the strength to destroy.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I have so much to be thankful for this year.  But since my Husband had to go and become a professional hero he is working today.  Ordinarily when he works the Thanksgiving holiday we would keep it small with a ham and veggie tray, maybe a pie or two, and call it good.

But not this year.

This year my Dad and Stepmommy live down the street from us!

See, so much to be thankful for.

So we are waiting until Saturday for our turkey day so we can do the holiday up big and proper.

Which means I spent today like this



I watched a bunch of movies with the kids.  I also threw in a little bit of this


(The Queen loves snapchat filters)

And in preparation for Saturday I did a little bit of this


And all was wonderful and relaxing, and I didn't miss a thing until I got on facebook and saw everyone's pictures of their amazing holiday meals.  And now I'm hungry.  And craving stuffing.

The struggle is real!

Especially since I've been forcing the kids to Eat.All.The.Leftovers in the fridge to make room for holiday food and there really isn't anything decent left to eat without cooking.

And I don't want to cook again.

I've already cooked so much today.  Only all the food I cooked today is for Saturday over-eating.  Not for dinner today.

The struggle is real!

But seriously, Thanksgiving was so much better when I was a child and didn't have to cook or clean.

Can I go back to that?

In knitting new my sweaters are all blocked.


And my red one grew.

This is the picture I sent to my group chat so my girlfriends could tell me if it was too short for a dress (spoilers:  since I'm not 19 anymore, it is) and too long for a shirt (they voted 2 to 1, it's too long)

So I need to shorten it to about here


And it will be the cutest holiday shirt ever!

My tweedy love sweater also grew during blocking


But I ain't even mad about this one.  Just need to weave the ends in and I can commence wearing it in all its tweedy glory.

I've taken to calling my cream sweater "The Good Sweater" (cause I was inspired by The Good Wife.  Get it?!!!! I'm so funny!!!!! And also a huge dork.  I accept this about myself)

My good sweater slowly grows.  The Queen had peanut butter for a snack and I threatened the older sibling who gave her peanut butter with bodily harm if tiny peanut butter hands touched my cream colored yarn.

Because I'm a good Mom like that.

After all, what's a holiday without a few hollow threats from the one who gave you life.

Sentiments like that make me question my upbringing and wonder how normal my childhood actually was.

Which is also a time honored holiday tradition.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

What a Little Restless Energy Can Do

I'm feeling kinda restless and out of sorts today.

A woman called me this morning.  After giving me a very friendly good morning she was surprised to discover she had dialed the wrong number.  I found myself apologizing to her for being the wrong person.

I kinda feel like the wrong person today.

I keep finding myself surprised at the thought that Thanksgiving is in two days.

Which isn't really as big a deal as it sounds at first since we will be celebrating with turkey on Saturday, so I've got four more days to wander to the grocery store and prepare.  But the fact that there is a holiday this week keeps coming as a bit of a revelation for me.

How did Thanksgiving happen so soon?

The Queen is having a birthday next week.

There are 32 days until Christmas.

35 days until Sweet Pea's birthday.

Time is passing me at breakneck speed and I find myself bewildered by it all.

The Greatest says I'm just so exhausted, living in day to day survival mode, that I forget the days add up to weeks, which add up to months, and before I know it The Queen is turning three.

In the meantime I have knit a beautiful red sweater in the hopes of wearing it for the holidays, and if I'm gonna make that happen I need to block it!


Let the clock start on how many days it takes me to lay out the sweaters to dry.

Just kidding.



DONE



AND DONE!

This restless feeling I've got today wouldn't allow me to let the sweaters sit in water long.  I think they made it forty minutes, forty five tops, and I was on my knees gently patting them into shape.  Which turned out to be a very good thing because I found a safety pin hidden in the armscye of the grey sweater.  That could have been unspeakably tragic.  I should try to channel this pent up energy into something really productive, like grocery shopping for Thanksgiving, or scrubbing my shower.  But I probably won't.

I was really relaxed with my blocking.  I didn't pin the red one at all, just laid it flat and made sure the sleeves were the same length.  I think the overall length of the sweater grew from the weight of the wet sweater, and I'm fearful that after it dries it will be too long and I will have to rip a few inches out.  Or maybe it grew enough to go from tunic top to short dress.

Maybe it is my new holiday dress?

I only pinned out the lace collar on the grey sweater.  I wanted to open up the lace pattern and make the lace collar as wide as possible.   In hindsight I wish I had blocked the lace a little more aggressively, maybe with blocking wire.  But if I hate it or find it lacking I can always reblock.

Let's take a moment to revisit that second picture


Do you see what I see peering between the branches of the tree?


No kitty kitty.  That's a bad kitty kitty.

Although after months of calling "here kitty kitty" and having her ignore me it occurred to me that her original owners might not have spoken English.  We live where there is a large Spanish speaking population.  I asked a friend how to call a cat in Spanish, and sure enough "gato" got a head turn.  So...

No gato gato.  That's a bad gato gato!

In Baby Bunyan news


She is sporting yet another blue plaid shirt and practicing for her bright future as a cardiologist.


With the way she goes around stealing hearts she should know how to take good care of them.

Monday, November 21, 2016

The Final Chapter

So we all remember the infamous "rust" incident right?

And the poor purple sweater I've been trying to knit since October 2012?

It may have taken four years, approximately fifteen billion tries, and two different yarns (the original yarn turned into this sweater), but I finally have an end to the saga of the perfect Grown Up Girl.

*Spoiler Alert*




It's a happy ending.

It may not look like much on the hanger


But on it is the most adorable flattering comfy sweater.

Look how perfect and cute the sleeves are


And my sweet pockets with my sweet tie


I tried finding all the blog links about my attempts to knit this sweater.  I found ten before I gave up out of boredom and a need to go make dinner.  I'm not sure any project has ever been as well documented on this blog as my attempts to create this sweater have been.  I put the links I did find on my Ravelry project page just in case you're new here and feel curious about the back story.  Because there is quite a bit of backstory.

Remember when I was talking about how well documented this project was?   Like three sentences ago?  There was one teensy weensy detail that got left out in all my blogging.  For the life of me I have no idea what yarn that is.  I KNOW it is some sort of knitpicks yarn.  Possibly Swish DK.  It looks like it could be swish dk in eggplant.  But maybe not.  Which is a shame.   Because it is really nice yarn.

Fall finally descended yesterday.  It rained and the temperature dropped 30 degrees in two hours.  The Greatest and I had been trying to sneak away for a date night for weeks, and we decided that Sunday night it was happening.  No matter what.  No excuses.  (and believe me there were lots of reasons not to go, thus is the glamorous life of parenting)

When faced with the unexpected cold front I was delighted to pull my sweater down from the top of the closet (from a shelf I may or may not reach by jumping and desperately grabbing whatever I can manage to grab, which  may or may not be how I ended up wearing my purple sweater on a rainy Sunday night).

The overwhelming majority of my sweaters are knit with fingering or lace weight yarn.  They are thin wisps of an idea of warmth.  This sweater, while not aran weight thick, had a more substantial feel.  As we hurried through the rain I could feel the cold air on my face, but I was warm.  I knew it was chilly in the restaurant, but I, a girl who has a lifetime of feeling cold, was not cold.  I really wish I knew what yarn it was.

I know when I knit the sweater I was concerned that I had placed the back chart too low and should have modified it to be higher up on my shoulders.


When I pulled the sweater out of my closet I didn't even remember having that concern.  I loved everything about the sweater.  If I felt there were fatal flaws when I knit the sweater they had disappeared with time.  The only issue I have with the back of the sweater is the crease from being folded for so long.

(also my bun is super awesome.  I like to document my good hair days, so I tried to get a better picture of it, because it was a fancy bun, but I suck.  The end.)

So it is official.

I finally have a Grown Up Girl of my very own.

And it was worth the wait.

In other news my obsession of plaid knows no bounds.


The Greatest has taken to calling her "Baby Bunyan."

I can live with that.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Real Time Blogging

Once upon a time (last month) I started a sock


Slowly my sock grew


And grew


But let's face it, that fancy sock takes a lot of brain power.

All those twisted cables and lace take attention.

I don't have brain power or attention to give right now.

I can't tell you what's changed in the past month, maybe it's the change in season, but I'm exhausted.

I need a brainless knit.

Enter my latest obsession stage right.

I am obsessed with The Good Wife.

I love it.  I marathon episodes of it on Hulu every chance I get (which isn't nearly as often as I like.)

And I am obsessed with this sweater


Look at that shawl collar.  Look at those sleeves.  Look at the comfy.

SO.MUCH.WANT.

I scoured Ravelry looking for a similar pattern.

And I found one-ish right in my library.

Remember when I knit this sweater?


It has so many of the element I love.

The collar!

The sleeves!

The comfy!

It has a different rib pattern, but I think I like the slipped rib better than the original sweater ribbing.  With some mods I think I could make this work.

And the idea took hold.

I NEEDED a cream colored modified Isabel.

And I could not rest until I had one.

Nevermind the fact that a cream colored sweater is INSANITY.

Did I forget that I have a toddler?

Let us all take a moment to consider the disaster that would be Mommy wearing a cream colored sweater around an almost three year old.

DISASTER!

That fictitious cream colored sweater would not remain cream colored for very long.

Alicia Florrick can wear a cream colored sweater because she is a lawyer who works in a law office where children do not work.  She also only has two children.  Not five.  And her children are both teenagers.  Not a toddler in sight.  Although I too have two teenagers, with a third child poised to join that place of practice adulthood.  How did that happen?  Teenagers aside, there's still the eight year old firmly planted in the sticky mess of childhood, and let us not forget the toddler.  Oh the toddler.  The sweater ruining toddler.

I am no Alicia Florrick (which is cool considering the philandering politician husband and all.  I'll stick with being me)

But I want that sweater, no NEED that sweater.

And somehow, mysteriously, somehow seven skeins of Knitpicks Bare gloss (a glorious cream merino wool silk blend that just happened to be on sale at an opportune moment) ended up at my doorstep begging to be knit.


My obsession is becoming a reality.

Because I am obviously insane.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Outfit Of The Day Queen Edition

As long as I'm taking a trip down memory lane with old knits that never made the blog, let's admire the Queen.


This is the look she has started giving me whenever she sees the camera.

Or this face


< insert sarcasm >YAY< end sarcasm >

The Queen is wearing a sweater I knit Bird, but I don't think it ever made the blog.

Once upon a time I knit this sweater.

But it never looked right unbuttoned, and it gaped when I buttoned it.  And the long sleeves that I loved were two inches too long.

I never wore it.

So one day I went insane and I unraveled it for yarn.

And I used it held double to knit a baby shrug.


My two year old has a cashmere sweater.

I do not.


I don't think she is appropriately grateful.


All in all I think it looks pretty good considering it is almost a decade old, and has been worn by three toddlers.


It can be exhausting being so adorable.


I've included this picture despite the fact that it isn't a particularly good shot of the sweater.  And despite the fact that it is a good shot of all the detritus that is currently on my floor (I could be picking it up right now, but I'm blogging.  You're welcome).  I have included it because I love the pink hair.


I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE her pink hair.