How I've missed you.
I know I've ignored you lately but life has been so busy. You've been in the back of my mind the entire time. A tiny voice running commentary whispering "You should blog this. You should take pictures of this so you can blog this. You should have taken pictures so you can blog this. You need to create time to blog. The Queen took an extra long nap today, you should have used the time to blog. You're up at 2 am with insomnia, you should get out of bed and blog. WHY DON'T YOU BLOG???!!!!!"
Blogging started to feel less and less like a fun creative outlet. A way to tell storied and share my knitting and keep those far away in touch with my family. It felt like one more stressful stone of life that was drowning me.
In a recent evaluation of things that are causing me stress and what can we do to remove some of the stress from my life blogging was chosen to be an obligation I could discard in favor of showering more often. One little stone I could remove from my neck and toss aside. I could silence that nagging voice forever.
But then I took a farewell tour of my blog. And in doing so, as I reread page after page, post after post, I remembered how much I love my blog.
I wish I could quit you.
But instead I want to devote myself to you once more.
I want to write. To craft words into sentences to tell well written stories. I want to create. To knit beautiful things from my own two hand. I want to take pretty pictures to share my creations, and my children, and my life. I recently picked up my camera and it had been so long since I have taken pictures with my camera, that I've basically forgotten how to use it. How to change the setting to take pictures to the best advantage. How to adjust the settings to accommodate lighting, movement, focus. It was truly sad. I want to be passable at photography again. I want all this in my life.
I guess I'll be giving up showering.
It's all about priorities.
Is this the vow renewal ceremony that so often seems to proceed the divorce? The last ditch effort to save the relationship?
Possibly.
But even if this is the beginning of the end I've enjoyed the ride.
In the meantime I knit a sweater.
(Side note: See what I was saying about crummy photography? It is truly sad.)
This sweater has quite the tale, and it isn't complete yet. Someday I hope I get the chance to tell it's story.
And my little walk down memory lane has inspired me to once again cast on for Girly Girl in my purple yarn. I know I made some pattern modifications, but I didn't keep a record of what I did, so there is no telling what I will end up with. But hopefully whatever it is it will be rust free.
4 comments:
I have such a hard time keeping up with my blog. I just have to get there when I get there.
Yay for an amazing sweater.
So nice to see you back...I did miss you! I love the posts about your growing family and knitting too.
Happy dance! I love your blog!
yay! I SO enjoy your blog, and I SO understand what you're saying about how hard it is to find time to blog...I was shocked how long it had been since I last blogged when I posted 4/4. Where did Feb. and March go? But, in the end, I decided not to be stressed and to just blog when I blog. For me, I think I was trying to blog too much. Now, I'm going to try to just blog once a week. Monday nights and see if I can give that a shot....but I also don't have kiddos. :) I agree, you don't need showers. :) Thanks for taking one for the team. I enjoyed binge reading your blog posts today. :)
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