Friday Grumbling

I'm tired and cranky today.   While usually a relatively good sleeper for a baby, Squishy has had a rough couple of nights.  She only does this when The Greatest is working, when I have no back up and can't "tap out" when I'm just so exhausted I want to cry.  So today I'm tired and I'm whiny and I'm crabby and I'm hating...

The fact that my Christmas tree is still up.  I understand between Squishy, and all the appointments, and working, and loving all our other children so they don't feel like life has become "The Squishy Show" there just aren't enough hours in the day.  I get it.  And I usually don't mind.  Deep down I know I honestly don't care, it isn't hurting anything, or even really in the way.  But today, just for today it bugs.

And these...

These half packed boxes of Christmas stuff that have been sitting in front of my yarn cabinet for the better part of a month?  Well these really are in the way, and they are irritating the crap out of me.

And this...

The breast pump that has taken up permanent residence on my couch.  Today it feels like the enemy.  It is the thief of time.  It steals time from my baby, time from my obligations.  There already aren't enough hours, and this consumes a third of my day.  And it makes my boobs hurt.  In reality this is not the enemy.  This is the savior.  This feeds my child.  I should be saying endless prayers of gratitude.  But today I just can't stand the fact that I have to pump...again.  (Big shout out to Tam for her breastfeeding pep talk.  I needed to read that today.  And I will read it over and over each time I sit down to pump.)

And this...

The dishes are endless, pumping bottles, feeding bottles, pumping parts.  It is constant, all day, every day.  I keep a bottle of lotion right beside the sink, and my hands are still so dry, my nails are so brittle and broken.   It clutters my counter, and blocks the phone, and basically pisses me off today.

But just today.

I'm tired and irrationally angry today.

On the bright side I have this...

How sweet is this Baby!  So worth the sleepless nights, and endless dishes, and hours of pumping.  Worth every second.  Squishy has chosen her super special toy.  She has shown such a strong preference for her bear/blankie I'm fairly certain I need to run out and buy a back up.  Or three.

And there is this...

Stubborn baby is all serious glares at the camera, but I almost caught her smile.  Photographic proof she isn't always so somber.

And this...

 NAKIE BABY!

I loves a nakie baby.

And this in my family room...

This line of pink babyness makes me happy.

And finally, I might not get to knit much right now...

But I found a project I can use my pretty pretty needles on.  My Hitofude Cardigan just so happens to need a size 4 needle.  And I just so happen to have a size 4 Caspian needle.

Gotta love the little things.

Good Stuff

While I was waiting for my gauge swatches to dry on my Knit Picks project I managed to find a way to use my pretty pretty new Caspian needles.

I knit SLEEVES!

Don't you love it?

Sweet Pea loves it too.

I lack the brain power for a proper write up, so I'll just give you a photo montage instead.

I'm loving all the textures of this sweater.  I love the touches of reverse stockinette, the double garter stitch edging, the ginormous hood, the pockets, the perfect buttons (for once).  This was a great knit.  The only down side to this project is I didn't get gauge, so I had to re-work the pattern to fit my gauge.

That meant math.

Lots of math.

Totally worth it.

Pondering While I Pump

We take Squishy everywhere we go.  Baby girl needs lots of stimulation for her brain, so we take her everywhere and let her see everything.  The store, Doctor visits, restaurants, school functions, knitting group, she does it all, and drinks it all in.  Sometimes she sits in the sling.  Other times she lays in her car seat.  The Greatest prefers to straight up carry his little girl if he's around.  She is our constant companion.

Make no mistake.  We love her, and we love this.  We love taking her everywhere we go.

But...

At least twice a week a stranger comments to me "I thought she was a doll until I saw her move."

At least twice a week.

I know what they are saying is that my little girl is so sweet, so perfectly formed, with such a nice complexion that she appears to have come straight from a factory line.  We mere mortals are not supposed to be that flawless.

They are complimenting my baby.

I get it.

But still, I am left to wonder...

What is it about me that makes people think I would be walking around with a baby doll in a sling, talking to it, playing with it, kissing it, like it was a real baby?

I know there are women that do this.  They buy very detailed life like "newborns" and carry them around.  They even have conventions where they get together and show off their "babies."

Every one needs a hobby.

What is it about me that makes strangers think I might be one of those women?

Is it my (unwashed) hair, my (lack of) make up, or the sleep deprived look in my eyes that makes them think I'm crazy enough to be wandering around in public with a doll?

Maybe I should go take a nap.

Let Me Distract You With The Cute!

*Sigh*

I got gauge and will be knitting my great big Knit Picks project with my regular old Addi Turbos instead of my beautiful new Caspian Needles.

Let us all observe a moment of silence in respect for my deep soul crushing disappointment.

Yes I am aware of how much this is a first world problem.

To cheer us up let's have some Baby Knits!

You know how I loves me some baby pants!

Just check out that cute little knit covered bum.

It almost makes me want to cloth diaper so she can wear nothing but longies all the time.

*ALMOST*

I love everything about these pants, including the cute bow.

The pattern is Bulky Weight Longies knit in an unknown acrylic yarn.  I choose to use a rolled cuff at the bottom of the legs.

Newborn size pants, and at eight weeks she still has plenty of room to grow.  These pants were meant to be a companion piece to Squishy's very first Weasley Sweater.

I knit her a "New Babeh" sweater, which features a rolled hem at the neck and sleeves.

Only my unknown yarn that feels like it could be cotton didn't really want to roll.  This is a first for me.  I've never known stockinette stitch that didn't want to roll.  Instead this sweater wants to eat my babeh.

Don't worry.  Squishy can hold her own against the hungry hungry sweater.

She will eat it before it has a chance to devour her.

Someday I will sit and tack down the neck for the safety of my child

(See how sick of my amateur photography Squishy is.  Only eight weeks old.  I hate to break it to her, but she's in for a lifetime of my shutter snapping.)

I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to fix the collar before she out grows the sweater.

*cue hysterical laughter*

Until then, safety pins will have to do.

It Wasn't Bills In The Mail

Guess what came today!

For some reason Fed Ex drove past my house to take my needles to the post office.  My needles were then delivered to me by my local post office.   That seems like an unnecessary step, but whatevs.  I gots my new needles, and they are pretty!  I can not wait to use them to knit something.  Anything.  I just wants to use my new needles.  Pork Chop lives for all things green.  She's already been eyeing my needles.  I might have to store them under lock and key, possibly with a alarm, and some of those red laser motion detector thingies.

Word to the wise, you do not mess with my needles.  Not even if you are my progeny.

I spent my evening last night winding my yarn for my Knit Picks project.

It is a big project.  I have knit my gauge swatches (yes, there is more than one).  Later tonight I will pin them out to see if I get gauge.  If so I'll have to use my size 7s.  In not I'll get to use my new needles.  This might be the very first time that getting gauge would be a bad thing.  Every body cross your fingers.

And lest you think I only care for my knitting tools

I also took some pictures of the baby.

She's been extra cute and smiley today.  But when the camera comes out it is all serious business.  She does not appreciate my photographic shenanigans.

She will learn.

It is futile to fight The Mommy.

Blatant Baby Cuteness

Pinterest is going to be my down fall.

I found this really cute photo collage on pinterest.  It was a baby in a rocking chair.  They took one picture each month documenting the baby's growth over the first year.  It was adorable.  And I happen to own a pretty photogenic rocking chair.  And an even more photogenic baby.  And to top it all off, I own a camera.  I can totally recreate this right?  How could this go wrong?

Pinterst projects always go as expected right?

I hit my first snag before I even started.  My baby is seven weeks old.

I've already missed the 1 month picture.

My first thought was to jump in my time machine to go back a few weeks to January 1st to snap the perfect photo.  Then I remembered I don't own a time machine.  Stupid science, always letting me down.  Then we spent some time calling for The Doctor.  He owns a time machine, he could help me out.  But he never showed.  I don't know if he didn't show because he was too busy saving the universe or if he didn't show because he is a fictional character.  Either way, I was very disappointed in him.  He has a time machine, he can save the universe AND help me get my photo op.  Finally I thought maybe I could just swaddle her and try to pass the picture off as one month old.  Because technically she isn't two months old yet.

I'm thinking that big chunky baby isn't going to pass as a teeny sleepy one month old.

Suck Monkey.

I'm not ready to give up on this idea yet.  I'll take her two month old picture and see if there's enough difference to make it work.

And since I'm showing off baby pictures...

I put her in her Korrigan Sweater to go to knitting group last night.

She is still a reluctant model.  Waving her arm, kicking her feet.

She does not care that ALL my shots were blurry.

I did manage to capture this cute one of her sleeve cuff  I mean hand.  I'm taking cute pictures of my baby, not the sweater.  The baby is the important thing, not the sweater.  (If I say it enough...)

Being the World's Cutest Baby sure wears a girl out.

We should both go take a nap.

In knitting news, the yarn for my Knit Picks project has arrived.  My pretty pretty new Knit Picks knitting needles have not.  In further bad news.  I ordered a size 6 knitting needle, and a size 8.  I use those two sizes a lot.  My Knit Picks project uses a size 7.  Maybe I'll get lucky and my gauge will be off and I'll have to go up or down a needle size.

A girl can hope right?

Or Maybe the Third Time?

I am not a dainty woman.  At five foot six inches I am not overly tall, but I will never be described as petite.  Gamine is another word that would never be associated with me.  My facial features are strong.  Especially my nose.  I am slender, but I have a big frame.  My bones are big.  I have a strong sturdy body.  A work horse of a body.  It serves me well, but it is not a dainty body.  My hands are large.  I will never get to take those cute pictures you see on pinterest where the baby's hand rests in the Mother's hand which rests in the Father's hand.  Around here it would have to be Baby's hand, Daddy's hand, Mommy's hand.  My hands are larger than The Greatest's.  Sometimes that makes me feel unfeminine.  But they are strong hands with nimble fingers.  They too serve me well.  They knit sweaters, and give amazing back rubs, and make home made pizza dough, and play piano.  We're not really any good at that last one, but you can't blame that on my hands.  They do the best they can with what they  have to work with.  I love my hands.  I think they are beautifully formed.  But they are not dainty.

Unfortunately even my great big giant work horse hands aren't going to fit these wrist warmers.

My gauge is off, and this project is measuring HUGE.

I knew my gauge was measuring on the larger side.  I had hoped that if I cast on for the smallest size I would end up with a finished object that was roughly the largest size.

That's not going to happen.

I contemplated trashing the entire project.  I was tempted to tuck the yarn away, way way way in the back of my yarn cabinet, and to restore the needles to their place of solitude on my kitchen counter, as if this entire unfortunate affair had never occurred.  After all, I have yarn for a new Knit Picks project coming on Wednesday.  Is this really the time to be messing with a fussy personal project.  Not to mention the fact that Sweet Pea's sweater still needs sleeves.  Plus I still need to finish sewing the baby wrap.  And does anyone remember the baby's quilt?  All those tiny tiny triangles waiting to be sewn into tiny squares, waiting to be sewn into quilt blocks, waiting to be sewn into a quilt top, waiting to be quilted, waiting to be bound, waiting to be loved?  I remember them.  They call to be from The Abyss.  They haunt my dreams at night.  Not to mention all the cooking, and cleaning, and pumping, and mothering, and wife-ing that needs done around here on a daily basis.

No with all these factors pressing down on me I did the only reasonable thing I could do.

I got out my calculator.

Taking my personal gauge into account, I re-wrote the pattern, hoping to end up with something more human sized.

I am not holding out hope that this project will miraculously coalesce into something that I love.  I am fairly certain this project will end in a trip to the frog pond, with the yarn ultimately being hidden way way way in the back of the yarn cabinet, until I have forgiven it for letting me down.  But in the mean time, until my Knit Picks project arrives, this keeps me off the streets and out of trouble.

Which is good.

Because we all know there's nothing worse than a thirty-something mother of five randomly roaming the streets, looking for something to get into.

In other news I couldn't resist any longer.

I painted the baby's toes.  Not her toe nails exactly.  She wouldn't hold still enough for that.  So I painted her toes.

And I love them.

Second Times the Charm?

I Did It!

I knit exactly one row on my project yesterday.

Way to achieve realistic goals!

Of course before I knit this row, I managed to knit thirty or so rows on my sock.

Then I decided I hated my sock.

It was measuring too big for my foot.  I do not enjoy wearing loose socks.  And this yarn is on the thicker side for sock yarn.  I'm not a fan of super thick hand knit socks.  This project was full of all the elements I hate.  I was not going to love knitting this project.  And I was not going to love the finished pair of socks.

Life is too short not to love what you do.

So I ripped it all out and cast on for Spatterdash Wristwarmers.  I got to knit exactly one row on my new and improved pattern choice.  Now I don't own a pair of wrist warmers.  And I'm not even sure I will ever wear a pair of wrist warmers.   Plus did you see all the buttons?  Seriously?  Why do I keep picking projects with buttons?

I haven't decided what this yarn will be when it grows up.  This could be a huge disaster as well.  But for now I'm going to see how it looks as Spatterdash.

I wonder how many rows I'll get to knit today?

I think I'll aim for five.

Cause I dream big!

In child rearing news, I don't usually let my infants watch television.

But when they're being so sweet together how can I interrupt that?

Close to Accomplishing Something

For those who were wondering, after much begging and pleading and crying (on my part, not the baby's) Squishy finally pooped around eight o'clock Saturday night.  Entirely too much of my time and energy was absorbed by the creation of that bowel movement.  The tummy rubs, the leg pumping, the gentle words of encouragement.  My happiness should not depend on another person's crap.  (That statement is entirely more profound than originally intended.  But we'll roll with it.  I am unintentionally wise.)  If she wants to continue saving up her poop, next time she's on her own.

In knitting news I was making good progress on Sweet Pea's Weasley Sweater.  But then I ran out of yarn.

It is going to have sleeves someday.  I promise.  Eventually it will have sleeves.  This sweater is knit with Red Heart Super Saver.  I really go all out for my kids sparing no expense don't I?  The next time I go to Wal-Mart (in other words, the next time I need milk) I'll pick up a final skein.  In the mean time aren't you all impressed that this sweater already has buttons?  Sometimes I impress myself.  I think the hood is kind of ridiculously large.  But Sweet Pea loves it.  Like every other little girl in her kindergarten class, she has recently become enamored with Frozen.  (Side bar:  "Let it go" sung by Idina Menzel is hands down the most amazing Disney ballad ever.  I might be a tad bit enamored with Frozen myself)  She says the hood makes her feel like it is winter and she could go ice skating.  Considering we're looking at a high of 81 degrees today she needs a ridiculously over-sized hood to make her feel like it is winter.

I took advantage of an afternoon nap to weave in ends, and sew buttons onto the purple monstrosity.  When I was done Squishy still looked like this.

So I decided it was beyond time to try out my new Fancy Ebony Wood Needles.

Fancy!

I choose yarn to knit with based solely on the fact that I thought it would look pretty on my dark chocolate needles.

Pretty!

By the time I wound the yarn and browsed fifteen thousand sock patterns on Ravelry trying to find the perfect pattern, I only had time to accomplish this

Before the sleep beast awoke and demanded sustenance.

On the bright side my yarn really does look pretty on my fancy fancy needles.

My goal for today is to knit one row.

Again, I'm keeping my expectations realistic.

Surely I can knit ONE row right?

Frozen

This morning I took a shower.  Which, as sad as it is to admit, is kind of a momentous event in and of itself.  The infrequency with which one gets to shower is one of the little mentioned side effects of having a newborn.  Everybody talks about the sleep deprivation, nobody mentions the lack of soap.  But that is not my point.  I took a shower, and as I stood there under the hot water, dial turned as far to "H" as it would go, I realized my feet were thawing out.  I didn't even realize my feet were frozen.  But as feeling returned to my toes I realized how miserable I had been.  Because my feet were cold.  And I was too tired to realize what was happening with my own body.

Good thing I'm a knitter who just happens to have an entire drawer full of hand knit socks.

True story.

So I dressed, and came downstairs in my comfy, warm hand knit socks.  I grabbed my camera and immediately began to take pictures of my feet in their comfy warm hand knit socks, since I am fairly certain I haven't blogged this pair, and I could use some knitterly blog fodder.  I remarked to The Greatest that something might be wrong with the fact that I was taking pictures of my feet and we were both acting like that was a normal and perfectly reasonable thing to do.  Doesn't everyone take random pictures of their feet?

He just shrugged, accustomed to my insanity.

It takes a special kind of man to be married to a knitter.

Behold the beauty of my comfy warm hand knitted goodness.

Pattern:  Kebnekaise Socks

Yarn:  Some sort of discontinued Knit Picks Yarn.  It reminds me of the Wicked Witch of the West for some reason.

Needles:  Size 1, or maybe a 2.  Who knows!  No idea what yarn I used.  No idea what needles.  I'm a bad bad knit blogger.

Modifications:  Not really a mod, but I obviously ran out of yarn for the right toe, so that one is finished with some black sock yarn from my stash.  Probably Knit Picks stroll.  But I wouldn't swear to it in a court of law.  Bad, bad knit blogger!

Review:  These socks were tons of fun to knit.  They only work with multi-colored yarn.  You pick a color and when the yarn is that color you purl instead of knit, creating raised ridges of color.

On one sock I purled the purple, on the other I purled the green, creating fraternal twin socks.  I know I'm not supposed to play favorites but I like the purled purple sock best.

In a fun twist the soles of the socks were knit in reverse stockinette stitch, so the smooth side is against your feet, and the ridges are on the outside.

Otherwise known as a "Princess Sole."  I'm not entirely convinced that the comfort of a princess sole are greater than the PITA factor of purling the entire sole, but I'll try anything once.

There you have it.  My comfy warm hand knitted goodness!

In Squishy news, my dainty princess hasn't pooped in three days.  When she finally does it will be epic!  I tried to trick her into pooping last night by putting her in white jammies.   Babies love ruining white clothes.  The jammies in question were hand me down, off white, slightly formula stained around the collar jammies.  Squishy was not fooled.  She knew they were decoy jammies.  I would not have cried if her epic poop squished down the sides of her legs and up the back of her diaper, ruining these jammies.  Squishy was not inspired to poop.  She is holding out for the new pristine bright white jammies with the purple kittens.  I would cry if her bowels ruined these jammies.  She will not poop until her poop will make me cry.

Good thing she's the World's Cutest Baby.

She might be evil.

But at least she's cute.

So Weak

Sooooooo

I might have accidentally on purpose clicked the "check out" button instead of the "x."

I regret NOTHING!

Alright, I do regret the fact that I took a bunch of needles out of my shopping cart and as a result I did not get free shipping.

Being fiscally responsible is over rated.

Since I am cheap fiscally responsible I choose standard shipping instead of two day shipping.  As a result my new needles should be here in approximately three months.  Knit Picks.  Excellent customer service.  World's slowest shipping.  I'm an impatient child.  I WANT MY NEW NEEDLES NOW.  I need them so my new beautiful Caspian needles can join my new and still unopened Fancy Ebony Wood needles on the counter, where they will sit and dream of being used to knit.

One thing I've learned is you have to keep your goals realistic.

Beautiful needle collection on the kitchen counter.

I can do that.

Getting Somewhere, But I'm Not Entirely Sure Where

In a stunning turn of events I've actually managed to do a little knitting.  A few rows here, a few rows there, stolen crafty minutes during naps and when I'm on hold with various government agencies and health care professionals.  I'm starting to feel like making phone calls is my new profession.  Shame the pay is so crummy.  I have to give a shout out to the Social Security Office.  My hold time was going to be an hour so the friendly computer tree offered to call me back when it was my turn to speak with an actual human.  I took him up on that offer, and it might be a sign of the impending end of the world, but they returned my call in an hour.  It was amazing.  And the gentleman I spoke with was super helpful.  In hindsight the entire thing might have been a sleep deprived hallucination.  A government agency was helpful?  On the other hand I called the insurance approved company to order spare parts for my breast pump.  They transferred me to the breast pump department, who then told me they only deal with the actual pump and I was going to have to go on line to figure out how to order more valves from their company.  Not helpful!  But all this holding and transferring and stolen knitting minutes add up.  I am proud to announce that Sweet Pea's Weasley Sweater is starting to look sweater-ish.

I tried it on her to check the fit and she asked me "Is this gonna have sleeves or what?"

Yes dear.  It will eventually have sleeves, but I can not promise that it will have sleeves anytime this winter, but it will have sleeves.  Maybe I should have made it a size up for next year.

In baby news, Squishy baby is still the World's Cutest Baby!

Seriously, WORLD'S.CUTEST.BABY!

And in random news, have you all seen this?

So.Much.WANT!

I have a habit of filling online shopping carts.  I fill them, and click away.  It is retail therapy without the debt.  I may or may not have $50.38 worth of needles sitting in my Knitpicks virtual shopping cart as I type.  I can not lie, I am having the hardest time convincing myself to click the x and not the check out button.

So.Much.WANT!