Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Fall Break Part 1

I want to blog. But I've got bloggers block. I think I know what I want to write. But I need more time to mull it over in my brain. As I sat around pretending to write I happened upon this gem of a story that I wrote up last fall but never posted. It was titled "Fall Break Part I" Enjoy.

So the past week at my house has been epic.

I am the embodiment of Murphy's Law.

Stand in awe of me.

Fall Break started last Friday and it began with a, not really a bang, but it was a loud noise. It wasn't so much a loud noise like a shot gun bang, it was more the fact that all the fire alarms decided to go off in my house at the same time. It was more that kind of loud noise.

And boy was it loud. I used to wonder if we would actually wake up from the fire alarms if they went off during the night. I am now confident that we will in fact wake right up, with our ears bleeding.

I searched the house, but found no signs of fire. There was no blaze, no smoke, no hot smell like wires melting inside the walls. Nothing was wrong.

Yet the alarm went on.

My dogs began to howl. The neighbors dogs began to howl. It was fantastic. And I could not make it stop.

I called The Greatest.

He didn't take my call (sometimes he's not that great).

I called my friend whose husband is a Firefighter.

She didn't take my call (I was rethinking our friendship, but she offered to let me watch the premier of The Walking Dead at her house on Sunday, so all is forgiven).

I called another friend (at this point I was just calling random numbers in my call log in desperation). Her Husband suggest I call the non-emergent line for the fire department.

But there was no fire.

I called anyways.

They told me to call 911.

But there was no fire.

They told me to call anyways.

I told 911 there was no fire. 911 sent firefighters to my house. They came in full gear.

But there was no fire.

*shrug* Far be it from me to deny them the pleasure of wearing 75 pounds of gear in the 100 degree heat. Whatever bring them joy.

The arrival of the fire department is when things went south for me.

It was not the constant noise of the alarms. It was not all the neighborhood dogs howling. No the low point for me was when I realized the fire fighters would have to go upstairs.

I keep my house pretty clean. And I was fortunate enough to have vacuumed earlier that day, so it's all good right. I'd made my bed that morning like a good girl, and put The Greatest's dirty socks in the laundry hamper, so it couldn't be that bad right?

All the parts of the house that I am responsible for were safe for inspection.

But there are parts of the house that I am not responsible for. I have relinquished control of what I call "the children's wing" (not that my house is so grand it has wings, but when you get to the top of our steps my bedroom is to one side of the stairs and all the children's rooms and their bathroom are on the otherside, hence the children's wing of the home). The kids do a pretty good job of keeping their rooms and bathroom nice if I do a good job of reminding them.

But school has been a particularly hard adjustment for us. One child in particular is struggling and we spend two to three hours a night doing homework. It is exhausting. So the chores have fallen to the wayside as we establish a new routine.

So the children's rooms have become "No Man's Land." Only the bravest of souls would enter them. Who knew what was hiding under the kid debris on the floor.

Cleaning them has been on my list for quite some time. I decided to wait until next week during fall break to go through the rooms and try to get things back on track.

With the arrival of the firemen I was really wishing I had done it last weekend.

They graciously stepped over the piles of dirty clothes, and toys, and assured me that since there were no dead animals I was in the clear as far as CPS goes.

But I wanted to sink into the floor and hide underneath one of the many piles of dirty towels. Nothing like a good public humiliation in the privacy of your own home.

The fire fighters discovered the source of the problem (dust had been blown into one of the alarms by the ceiling fan. Stupid desert with all the stupid dust). They blew it out with a fire extinguisher.

And then they were gone.

Leaving me alone in my shame.

I'd like to say that was the most exciting thing to happen to us during fall break. After all it isn't every day you get a real life fire truck parked in front of your house, but no.

There's more.

So much more...

Now wasn't that story just too much fun not to share? For the life of me I can not remember Fall Break, or what happened that was even worse than my humiliation at the hands of a bunch of over dressed fire fighters. I searched my timeline on facebook, and it held no explanation. Obviously what ever happened next was so terrible I blocked it from my memory forever and ever, never to speak of it again.

What a shame. I bet it was a heck of a story.


Minding My Own Stitches said...

Yes, I want to hear about the "So much more." THINK!

We've had trouble with dust in the detectors. We cleaned them out over and over again, but finally had to replace them with new. Now there's peace again, for a while!

Candyce said...

I enjoyed your account so much! You have a wonderful way of describing things.

And I know all of us have been there with our children's rooms. Honestly! If the fireman have children....they know!

Vivianne said...

LOL that is *so* funny. And that you forgot the more exciting thing too LOL