Thursday, January 18, 2007

Something has gone horribly wrong

I don't know what I've done but I've angered someone with connections. I have inadvertently offended someone and they are seeking retribution. And they've come after me with a vengeance. Tormenting me in the most effective way they know how. They have stolen the most precious of all my precious items. A thief in the night, they've taken what will pain me the most. They've taken my knitting mojo.

*Poof*

Gone.

I know you're really here for some kick-butt finished objects. And I do have the Bathing Beauties, and the Rona shawl, but I am too despondent over the events of last night to feel any joy in the beauty that is the Rona Shawl.

It all began when I tried on RPM.....

RPM is RP-WrongIt's looking good isn't it. I love how this yarn is knitting up in this pattern. And let's be honest. Everything I've knit lately has been cream or taupe. It was exciting to watch actual colors flow through my fingers and take form. I decided to knit the larger size. The 63 stitch cast on was only one stitch off from the Pirate Socks, so they should have fit just fine. I tried them on....they didn't. They were too large. So my socks and I took an unplanned detour to the frog pond. Unconcerned I cast on for the smaller size, knit the cuff and discovered this...



See how the orange is all on one side of the sock, and the yellow is segregated to the other side. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true. With the smaller stitch count the yarn is, I can hardly bear to say it, the yarn is...flashing. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE flashing and it's fraternal brother pooling. I think it's exciting to watch it knit up. I've got a capital "E" on the bottom of my Pirate Sock and it thrills me to no end. But this yarn is so busy, and this pattern is so busy, I just don't think it needs a third visual element with the flashing. It will be too much. Before it looked like a good acid trip, but as anyone who has ever taken acid can tell you (not me Dad, other people, bad people who took acid in college, but not me), a good trip can easily go bad. And this trip has gone bad.

So RPM is no more. I'm toying with the idea of Jaywalkers, but that didn't work so well for me the first time. Or a simple rib socks, maybe with moss stitch in the rib. *sigh* And these socks were knitting up so quickly, and looking so beautiful....

But the horrors of yesterday do not end with the sock. No the sock was only a prelude to the actual terror. A large spider on the bed covers when there was really a killer in the closet. The next victim was *gasp* Starsky. And it dealt a fatal blow. It is too graphic. Standard of decency prohibit me from showing you pictures of the carnage.

When last we left Starsky it was relaxing peacefully in a bath of lukewarm water, baby shampoo, and a squirt of conditioner. A time tested cocktail guaranteed to soothingly intoxicate your knit garments into submission.

When I removed Starsky from it's bath I made a horrifying discovery. I always, and I don't mean always in that exaggerated way that really means sometimes, I mean each and every time, I ALWAYS wrap my yarn ends up and secure them with a safety pin to get them out of the way. I do this with every project, I hate having lots of strings dangling about. This could be why I rarely do color work, but that is a different topic. To return to the original topic, I always secure my ends with a safety pin. I NEVER take them off until it is time to weave in the ends. I soak my knits with the safety pins on, I block them. It's never been a problem. NEVER. Until yesterday. Each and every pin rusted. Some pins were regular safely pins. Some were curved rust-resistant safety pins for quilting. Some were old, some not so old. But each and every safety pin rusted. Three sweater pieces in three separate bowls of water, all covered in rust stain.

My sweater is on life support. It's poor beautiful fibers streaked with red, and brown, and some hideous grey. A sweater that may die before I have a chance to wear it and look fabulous. I've soaked the pieces in lemon juice and salt. Today I'll try the sun and cream of tartar. But I'm not optimistic. I've been told the alpaca in it may never recover. Such a senseless tragedy.

Someone has declared war on me, and I'm gonna fight back with a vengeance. Where the f@#$ is Boyd?

9 comments:

Pyewacket said...

Oh, NO! How devastating for Starsky. 8-(

Any chance that the rust looks like a cool dye job?

shizzknits said...

Ahhhhh!!!!! No! Not Starsky! I was so looking forward to seeing it in all its glory. I can't believe those pins rusted! That's so strange. I'm sure it's Boyd's work. :(

shiguy4076 said...

I am absolutely horrified about starsky. where is boyd? What a sneaky B**tard

Bitterknitter said...

Oh. No. Nasty safety pins. Boyd must be recruiting other metals to join his evil army. I'm so sorry.

Janelle said...

That's horrible. Maybe you can overdye it? I hope it's able to be rescued.

I just finished some Jaywalkers in a yarn that had plagued me for two other attempts with really bad flashing/pooling problems. Like yours, all of the yellow had ended up on one side of the sock. The Jaywalkers turned out great, with no pooling in sight. I was so relieved, because I just couldn't bear to frog them a third time. The yarn would have been in stash time out indefinitely.

Janelle said...

Dangit, I'm still figuring out commenting. I have no idea why my blog didn't show up, I typed it in...
www.janellefine.com/bioengiknitter

Robin said...

Oh no - that really SUCKS about Starsky. I'm so sorry. Hopefully the cream of tartar will work. Keeping my fingers crossed.

mawmaw said...

Sorry to hear that. "Yellow Out" for laundry. Made by Iron Out and found in laundry detergent area. Try it. Suppose to whiten up whites made dingy yellow and grey. Works great on rust stains. Use cautiously on colors. I sound like a darn commercial. Good luck!

Eileen said...

So sorry to hear about Starsky. I'm with Janelle--I'd definitely try overdying if the lemon juice and salt and cream-of-tartar adn sun don't do the trick. Hoping today is a better day.