Saturday, June 02, 2007

Secrets and Lies

Don't you hate it when a blogger you love just disappears off the face of the earth. Just *POOF* gone. No explanation. No warning. No good-bye. Just gone. You check their site daily hoping for word, pithy writing, cute pictures of children, maybe even some fabulous knitting. Yet day after day there is nothing but the same fuzzy shot of some slightly ugly socks.

Yeah I hate that too. So I'll pretend I didn't just do the same thing by going silent for a month with no explanation. Because honestly there is a good explanation.

I've been sitting on a secret. And I don't do secrets. I can't keep them. Well, that's not entirely true. I can keep other people secrets. I'm very trustworthy with YOUR secrets. But my life? It's a bit of an open book. What you see is what you get. And I don't do secrets. They feel too much like lies. So I'll tell anyone anything they want to know, and a few things they didn't ask about. I've learned to accept this about myself.

It was so hard last year not to talk about moving when we were planning our move. I didn't want to say something too early and jinx everything. But it felt like a lie of omission by not talking about it. And we all know how I feel about liars. It was terrible feeling like an unintentional liar. I felt guilty every time I blogged. All I could think about was the move, yet I kept changing the subject in my internal dialogue so I could think of other things to blog about. I danced around this huge elephant in the corner that no one knew was there but me. It wasn't fun. So this time, when I had a secret to keep, I chose a different tactic. I hid. I hid from my phone, I hid from my blog, I hid from the world. If I didn't talk to you I wouldn't have to dance around my secret. I couldn't accidentally reveal it. And best of all I wouldn't be lying, by omission or otherwise, if I didn't talk to you.

So there you go. I've been keeping a secret from you. It feels good to just put that out to the universe. Now you know.

What...did you think I was going to tell you the secret?

I'm not ready for that yet. It just feels good to be honest and tell you I've been keeping something from you. But I will not leave you completely empty handed. Since you took the time to visit I will reward you with pictures of my adorable children, whom I am sure you all have missed very much.

Last Day of School

Silly Boy

So Pretty in the Sun

Our Fourth Child



OK, so I did share my secret. I told you I couldn't keep one.

23 comments:

TrixieG said...

I knew it as soon as I saw the title! Congratulations! What wonderful news. The kids are getting so big. They must be super excited!

Tammy said...

Congratulations! That's very, very exciting news! I know exactly what you mean about keeping secrets. I am not overly social or outgoing, but once I start talking to someone I inevitably find myself just trying to shut up. Ugh!

I don't remember if I've ever commented here before or not, but I love your blog because I love your title... I have 5 boys so I must admit feeling a certain kinship with you based on your title alone. lol Nothing like a little honesty... and a good sense of humor about our shortcomings! :)

Laura said...

Congratulations!! What a great, great secret!

shizzknits said...

Congratulations!!!! Such great news!

Knittypants said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! Congratulations!! the best kind of secret, thanks for sharing :-) and now I will know someone else sharing the joys of 4 kiddos.

lynda said...

Yea! I was giving you maybe two more days before I started bombarding you with the "are you alive" emails. I'm so glad it's good news! I thought maybe after the last incident when you tried to take a shower the kids had to duct taped to the stairs or something ;o)

Congragulations!

LilKnitter said...

I'm so happy for you! That is wonderful news. It will be such a joy to hear about how your pregnancy is going, for better or worse, as the case may be.

But you poor thing. In a year's time, you may never get to wash again!

Miriam said...

Congrats! Hope you don't have icky morning sickness.

Amy said...

Congratulations! With kids as cute as those, you definitely should have more. :-)

Jenn said...

Congrats! That's a great secret to have, and to share!

Tam said...

Woo hooooo! Welcome to the wonderful world of neglecting FOUR children!!! It's a great life. I highly recommend it. Now, if "I" will just post to MY blog, all will be well with the world. sigh. Maybe I've been holding out on some cool news too...

Zonda said...

Congratulations! I'm just so glad you are ok! Phew! Been thinking of you!

Take care! Nice kiddie pics!

bunchkin said...

Yay!!! Congratulations! Having 4 kids is so awesome. Adding number 3 was really hard for me, but adding the next one was pretty easy. I figure after 3 you're just throwing another one on the pile. Making 4 lunches isn't any harder than making 3. Praying for no morning sickness!

Tove said...

Congratulations!

turtlegirl76 said...

I knew it! Yay! How exciting for you! Congratulations!

Dani said...

Congratulations! I'm so glad it was a happy secret. I was wondering if you were ok.

Yarn Tails said...

Congrats! That is the best kind of news!

Bezzie said...

Hee! So it IS true! Congrats--again!

Rubys & Purls said...

Congratulations! I just knew that was you secret! I remembered your post from a few months ago, maybe even a year now that you were hoping for another one!

I think there is just something going around in blogland! Everybody is preggers on here!

Bitterknitter said...

Congratulations! So happy for you!

Sarah said...

I'm so happy for you! You made me cry!

Amy said...

Oh, Mamma, Yee Haw! Congratulations!!!!!!!!
I've missed you, although I've dropped off the face of the earth entirely also, so who am I to say anything?
Four kids, huh? ;)

Stephanie said...

OMG OMG OMG...CONGRATS!!!!!!!!