Thursday, October 01, 2009

Welcome October!

Why Hello Blog, my beloved friend.

You are so good to me, always patiently waiting for me to come and visit with you. Never pressuring me. Just faithfully waiting. You deserve so much more than I have given lately. I apologise for that.

All summer long you were left out. I apologise for that too.

I spent lots of the summer thinking "Enjoy this while it lasts."

A sense of foreboding has been following me. I feel the need to enjoy every smile from my children, every belly laugh with a good friend, every stolen moment with The Greatest. Not just in the enjoy and live in the moment kind of thinking, but to really consciously commit it to memory, to lock away every second, the light, the sound, the smell, every tiny bit of it. The joy, the frustration, the love. These are the good days, the cherished memories. Someday I will pull these memories out of my mind, dust them off, and smile fondly as I remember this special summer. I don't know what is on the horizon that made this summer so especially special, but I feel it, change is a-coming. Good times must be balance by challenge. We only improve in the refiners fire. This summer felt like a respite from harsher times, the calm in the eye of the storm, but only a moment of breathing room, not an actual end to the trails. I felt unusually grateful for every minute of it.

So in the midst of all this laughing and smiling and kissing I was just a little too busy for the blog.

When I woke up this morning I stepped outside and realized it was a might bit chilly (72 degree, I know, feel free to mock), and the calendar say October 1st. It occurred to me that despite the high temperature I know are coming today, and despite the absence of pretty colored foliage, it is Fall, with a capital F. And because it is October 1st, it is officially the start of what I consider to be "The Holiday Season!"


I love The Holiday Season. It is simply my favorite time of year. You get Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all back to back to back. Candy, Comfort Food, and Presents! What's not to love about that?

And I'm ready for every second of it.

Hard times are already back. September was such a horrible month I'm glad it is over! The less said about it the better. The best thing I can say about it is I'm glad I lived through it with The Greatest. He is my rock, and my best friend, and my soul mate (and I don't believe in soul mates). I hope that no matter what else comes our way we remember to continue to go through it together.

As far as I can see times are hard for everyone. Everyone I know is just trying their best to survive. I'm a worrier by nature. I have to worry. I have to ponder the worst case scenario and prepare. I have to be prepared. I worry about those I love. But all these things that are keeping me up at night are simply out of the realm of what I can control. For some reason the universe won't put me in charge, so all this stuff I just can't fix or change. It must simply be endured.

So while I'm enduring I'm going to focus on the good stuff. I'm going to take The Holiday Season and focus on more of the good stuff. And I've decided to take you along for the ride dear blog.


Some of the Summer was so happy when I tried to blog it felt like I was bragging, and I don't mean to boast or brag. If you've been around my blog long enough you know I show you all the ugly parts, not just the pretty shiny surface. For a simple knitting blog I can sometimes get quite deep. I knew of several friends who were having the worst summer ever and I hated to so publicly state that my life felt picture perfect when I knew they were struggling so hard with their own challenges. It seemed insensitive to their trials. The contrast seemed cruel. But my life isn't picture perfect. The Greatest and I fight. The kids whine, oh how they can whine. I don't think I cleaned the kids bathroom all summer, that was definitely not picture perfect. We have bills that may or may not be getting paid on time, my checking account is most definitely not picture perfect. But all summer long I had all these little slices of perfect happiness. These little moments of pure joy. I still hate to mention it. I'm debating erasing the paragraph and trying to write my point again with out sounding so boastful.

So what is my point?

My point is simply this I've decided to be happy.

The End.

I've also decided not to apologise for being happy and Pollyanna-ish, and looking for the bright side. (see I left my boastful paragraph, I'm trying so hard to not apologise).

And I'm taking my blog along for the ride.


You've been there to laugh with me, to cry with me, to mourn with me, to change with me, and you should get to celebrate these little perfect slices with me too!

So here's to a Joyous Holiday Season! On tap for October: Costumes, Candy, Visiting Relatives, and, in case you hadn't noticed, PUMPKINS!


Bezzie said...

Halloween is the gateway holiday here! In addition to the regular holidays we have the boys' birthdays and our wedding anniversary. Apparently we like to do big things at the end of the year here!

Heidi said...

I think you're wonderful and The Greatest is lucky to have you and I'm lucky to have you in my life as well.