My son

My daughters are little nudists. They are the kind of children that protest the imposition of clothing with every cell in their body. At the age of three Pork Chop used to strip off all her clothes, throw her arms out wide and declare herself "soooo naked." There is nothing cuter than a chubby toddler body running around the house giggle from the sheer joy of having so much flesh exposed to the breeze. At the age of four Pork Chop's limbs lengthened until she no longer had that cubby toddler body. She had a little girl body and so much exposed flesh was suddenly inappropriate. Bird still has an innate love of being naked. When changing her clothes you must be quick. Otherwise the moment you get all her clothes off she will pop up and run before you have a chance to replace them. Oh, the joys of childhood.

My son is the complete opposite. Something about being naked disturbs him. As an infant he screamed his way through every diaper change, only to immediately stop once his pants were back on. At the age of one he covered his nipples with both hands whenever they were exposed. Taking him to the pool was always a treat. He is now obsessed with not showing his privates. Peeing in the potty is suddenly torture because his bottom is exposed. The meanest thing you can do to him after he has wet his pants is to refuse to give him new underwear. I tell him that if he is going to pee them, he can't have them. He hides in the bathroom until I give in. The moment his pants are removed to change his clothes one hand covers the front and the other hand covers the back. His discomfort with his body is a little disconcerting. I hope he grows out of it and becomes more comfortable with his skin. The boy hates being naked.

So imagine my surprise when Meaty bared his bottom and rubbed it on his cousin's head chanting "Nakie butt, Nakie butt."