Friday, July 31, 2015

The Change of Seasons

I used to be a Knitter with a capital K.

I knit all the time.


I was never more than a few feet from my knitting.

I started as a knitter, small k.

I knit a baby blanket.  I knit a few scarves.  But I didn't always have to knit.  I didn't even always have a project on my needles.

Heck, sometimes I didn't even know where my needles were.

But somewhere along the line a switch was flipped.

I know exactly when too.

Meaty was a baby, a sweet tiny baby.  And I stumbled upon a book of baby knits at the library.  I became obsessed with knitting every item in that book.  I think all the babies in the neighborhood got a baby sweater for Christmas that year.  I made (possibly illegal) photocopies of my favorite patterns from that book that I may or may not (if they are in fact illegal) still have.  I knit and knit and knit and never looked back.

I was a Knitter.

And I loved it.  I knit all the things.  I wanted to knit everything in every size.  I wanted to try all the techniques, and learn all the cast ons and bind offs and how many different ways can you knit a sock.  I loved learning and growing and creating.

It brought such joy and accomplishment to my life.

But now, I'm a knitter.

I can go a week without knitting.  I feel it in my stress level, I need to knit.  I need that stress relief.  But trying to dedicate time to knit only adds stress to my life.  It doesn't relieve stress.  Thinking about how I want to knit but I'm too busy, or too tired adds stress.  Thinking I should knit because it is what I do doesn't add a positive value to my life.  It is becoming a negative.

Knitting is something I have to loosen my grasp on.

Not let go.

I don't want to stop knitting.

But I need to let go of being a Knitter.

I am a knitter.

I might finish a project this month.

Or I might not.

I've got a lot going on.  And I need knitting to go from something I feel obligated to do to something I want to do if I can, or not if I'm too busy.

I am a knitter.

And that is alright for now.

Seasons change and in a new season I will be a KNITTER once again.


AngelKnitter said...

I am a knitter at the current time as well. And I have to be OK with that. We all tend to sway one way to the other. And knitting forgives us. Always. Because knitting is kind.

Though I can't ever be the kind of knitter with nothing on the needles. That doesn't make sense in my head.

katie metzroth said...

I think of being a Knitter v. knitter differently than you do. (not saying either way is wrong or right, just an alternate way of looking at things).
In my head:
Knitters are people who see a pattern and think, "I could knit that.". It might be a huge gorgeous lace shawl, an aran sweater or knee high stranded socks. knitters are people who knit miles of garter stitch scarves and gift them to everyone they know. And the world has to be made up of both for balance. Those who feel knitting is a comforting distraction and those that learned to knit and then at some point thought, "Where have you been all my life?"