I just breeze in and out with no explaination

First for the various Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and other people who only visit this blog for the children.

I am aware that I do in fact have three children. But one of them is currently in school gettin' all edjumacated and stuff. I was only able to photograph the younger less learned ones. Did I mention they only sat so nicely for the first photo because I bribed them with cartoons? Look at their bright shiny faces all happy at the thought of vegging in front of the TV. I am a FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC mom. (The second set was taken while they were in fact vegging in front of the TV)

If only I was a good a knitter. The rest of this post is knitting carnage.

The blue yoke sweater is scrapped, no more, not even going to try to salvage it. And there will be no pictures of the carnage. This design was my own, and it just didn't work the way I hoped. I've had this yarn for well over a year, it has been swatched for no less than three projects, I may never actually knit anything with it. I'll just keep making swatches until one day there is nothing left to swatch.

I knit my Noro hat. The design is my own as well. But it's still not what I was going for. And, it covers my ears but sits so low on my forehead I look silly, where did my eyebrows go? (Dumb Fact, I'm very vain about my eyebrows. They're quite nice and don't deserve exile under a poorly designed hat) So to the frog pond that goes. *sigh* And I've decided the colorway just isn't for me. *double sigh*

The Flower Power socks have been knit and ripped at least five times to date, with no sign of an actual sock in sight. Which is sad. I really love this poor forlorn sock yarn.

I did in fact knit an entire pair of socks, top down, two at a time, on two circular needles. The design is my own. See how pretty the symmetrical cable twists are. The fit like they were made just for me. The only catch? They're cotton. Not a millimeter of give to the yarn. They are so difficult to pull on. It takes ten minutes, a fair amount of cursing, some lotions, and two broken finger nails to get them on. Once they're on they fit perfectly, but oy, it's getting the top of the sock over the heel that just kills. I'll never wear them. I'm going to rip them and probably make socks for the girls. *sigh* and I did so love the colors. Maybe I should stop trying my own designs for a while.

Let me think what other damage did I do? Oh yes. Let me set the stage for this one.

I've been feeling sad and melancholy lately. So my Bestest Knitterly Friend from Back East, Big Booty Knits sent me a package to cheer me up.

See how fun! Cute patterns, cheery red alpaca lace-weight, and a hard to find Black Sheep tape measure. Her LYS had some, so she bought one for her, and one for me. True Story, my LYS had a bowl of them last week so I bought one for me and one for her. Great minds really do think alike!

So I have all this gorgeous red yarn. All of my yarn is cream and brown and pastels. My stack of finished lace is all brown Zephyr and one pastel blue shawl. I LOVE this red. It beckons me. I can not resist the call of the Misti Alpaca. It's perfect for the Scheherazade Shawl by Pink Lemon Twist. I don't even swatch. I just cast on and knitting I went. I get about twenty rows into it and I set it down to look. I know lace is indeed supposed to look open, but this looks a bit too open. Even thought it's on size 3 needles, the solid parts don't look solid enough. Then I remembered that the last time I knit one of her shawls I had to go down a needle size. In defeat I knit two gauge swatches, and I block them. It's hard to tell from the pictures, but I really like the one on the right knit on size twos better. Damnit. So I rip my twenty rows out. Only they aren't happy about being ripped and I end up with this.....

Yarn Barf of my very own.

So altogether I have frogged the blue yoke four times, the flower powers socks five, the cotton socks once with a frogging to come, the Noro hat three times with a frogging to come, and the Scheherazade Shawl once. The only thing I have actually created is Yarn Barf. (I so wish I could take credit for that phrase, but I saw it on She Knits Shizknits)

Can you understand why my Starsky and my Dad's Sweater are trembling high up on a bookshelf, observant of the carnage, and fearful of their fates.