Monday, November 14, 2005

The Evil Genius Returns

She's finally put it together. OF COURSE when her knitting goes wrong I'm behind the scenes pulling the "strings" (insert evil laugh here). A brilliant mastermind like myself should be instantly recognized, but since she has mentioned that there are new people around I shall grace you with the courtesy of an introduction.

I am Boyd. I am a magnificent blue circular knitting needle. Every once in a while I break into her blog to post. ("dyob etah i" is not a clever password) I work behind the scenes helping her to realize her true love. I am not her archenemy as she claims. I am her biggest fan. I love her so. *sob* That is why I can not understand why she has abandoned me in favor of other knitting instruments like her precious Addi Turbos. *sob* I can not help myself. So what if I sabotage her other relationships with her current knitting. I do it because I love her so. When everything else falls apart I know she'll come back to me. *maniacal laugh* Oh yeah, I also control the weather.

Let me show you what my criminal mind has been up to.

At night I have been whispering in her ear that she needs to finish her corset and her "Hopeful"sweater before she can start a new project. That is why she has been having such a hard time casting on a new project.

She finally broke my spell on Friday. She began her Adamas shawl. I must confess. This pattern is untouchable even by me. It is flawless. I can do nothing to ruin such perfection. So I attacked her yarn. She knit a few inches and I had Bird sit on her yarn ball so the yarn broke. This is all she did.

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Don't I look beautiful with that yarn. Wouldn't I look magnificent while knitting the Adamas shawl. So what if I'm the wrong needle size. Don't you know size doesn't matter.

She tried again Saturday. She made a mistake all by herself and even with a lifeline ended up having to frog the entire thing. I managed to weaken a section of her yarn so it broke while she was frogging it.

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She got further, but it wasn't good enough.

On Sunday she did this

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I must confess it is beautiful. Look at this stitch detail.

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Even unblocked it is a thing of beauty. Such beauty even touches a cold metal soul like mine. I can not bring myself to further sabotage something so lovely. *sob* It would be like spray paining a Van Gogh. What? Did you think I am completely without feeling?

She has decided that she can only knit on Adamas when she is fully awake and able to concentrate. So she cast on for some socks for that so-called Greatest to work on when she is tired and distracted. I shall turn my attention to sabotaging them. She has already had to frog them once this weekend. I changed the pattern to an ugly double decrease. After an inch she realized she could make it better. So now this is as far as she has gotten.

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I have plenty of time to ruin these socks. *evil laugh* I would rub my hands together with glee if I had some.


Miriam said...

Boyd has glee, I have glee! Your Adamas looks LOVELY! I was wondering if it would look good in a variegated (always have a hard time spelling that damned word) yarn. Eeeheheh! someone knitting my pattern! *dances*

tArA nIcHoLe said...

that shawl IS beautiful... I'm glad Boyd decided to leave it alone!!!!

rincaro said...

I know some snotty knitters you can send Boyd to.

candsmom said...

Boyd, you dysfunctional codependent... I guess even evil souls like you have a place for beauty. That shawl is truly beautiful and the colors are gorgeous. Have you been drinking again, Boyd? With all the sobbing, it sounds like you're precariously teetering on the edge of reformation...

Lynda said...

You Adamas shawl is going to be beautiful!!! What yarn are you using?