Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday Grumbling

I'm tired and cranky today.   While usually a relatively good sleeper for a baby, Squishy has had a rough couple of nights.  She only does this when The Greatest is working, when I have no back up and can't "tap out" when I'm just so exhausted I want to cry.  So today I'm tired and I'm whiny and I'm crabby and I'm hating...


The fact that my Christmas tree is still up.  I understand between Squishy, and all the appointments, and working, and loving all our other children so they don't feel like life has become "The Squishy Show" there just aren't enough hours in the day.  I get it.  And I usually don't mind.  Deep down I know I honestly don't care, it isn't hurting anything, or even really in the way.  But today, just for today it bugs.

And these...


These half packed boxes of Christmas stuff that have been sitting in front of my yarn cabinet for the better part of a month?  Well these really are in the way, and they are irritating the crap out of me.

And this...


The breast pump that has taken up permanent residence on my couch.  Today it feels like the enemy.  It is the thief of time.  It steals time from my baby, time from my obligations.  There already aren't enough hours, and this consumes a third of my day.  And it makes my boobs hurt.  In reality this is not the enemy.  This is the savior.  This feeds my child.  I should be saying endless prayers of gratitude.  But today I just can't stand the fact that I have to pump...again.  (Big shout out to Tam for her breastfeeding pep talk.  I needed to read that today.  And I will read it over and over each time I sit down to pump.)

And this...


The dishes are endless, pumping bottles, feeding bottles, pumping parts.  It is constant, all day, every day.  I keep a bottle of lotion right beside the sink, and my hands are still so dry, my nails are so brittle and broken.   It clutters my counter, and blocks the phone, and basically pisses me off today.

But just today.

I'm tired and irrationally angry today.

On the bright side I have this...


How sweet is this Baby!  So worth the sleepless nights, and endless dishes, and hours of pumping.  Worth every second.  Squishy has chosen her super special toy.  She has shown such a strong preference for her bear/blankie I'm fairly certain I need to run out and buy a back up.  Or three.

And there is this...


Stubborn baby is all serious glares at the camera, but I almost caught her smile.  Photographic proof she isn't always so somber.

And this...


 NAKIE BABY!

I loves a nakie baby.

And this in my family room...


This line of pink babyness makes me happy.

And finally, I might not get to knit much right now...


But I found a project I can use my pretty pretty needles on.  My Hitofude Cardigan just so happens to need a size 4 needle.  And I just so happen to have a size 4 Caspian needle.

Gotta love the little things.

3 comments:

katie metzroth said...

My tree is still up too! and I have no children/babies that have been distracting me or even semi-valid excuses (although I did work one weekend). I just LOVE the pretty twinkle lights at the end of the day! and cedar season in Austin makes me cranky, so I think I may leave the tree up every January. :) great pic of her smile. :)

Gracey is not my name.... said...

Ours was up until last weekend....but I still have Santa's scattered around that have not been packed up.....and I love the almost smile....oh and we have no kids either...just lazyness...

Tam said...

So glad the pep talk helped! My oldest daughter spent 8 days in the NICU after she was born. I spent a lot of time chatting with the nurses (while living at the hospital so I could breastfeed). They told me that they could predict which babies would live and which would not- those who got physical touch and breast milk generally made it, those who didn't, didn't (all other things being equal). They had a breast milk bank and that made a huge difference, but those who got THEIR OWN MOTHERS' milk did best of all. It's a huge thing. Now I just have two words for you- dishwashing GLOVES.