It is best if we don't speak of it. I would like to forever block the afternoon from my memory.
But since I likes to keep it real around here, I suppose I'll show you what happened.
The baby knitting?
I was trying to sew together some baby booties. You knit six squares of garter stitch fabric and then seam them together and fold them like origami to make a pair of booties.
I don't know what I was thinking when I picked this pattern. I hate seaming. Just thinking about it raises my blood pressure. Why oh why would I look at the countless patterns for booties on ravelry and think "hey, I need to knit the ones that require the most finishing work possible." So far, the only explanation I can come up with is temporary insanity. I am starting to wonder how often one can claim temporary insanity before it is just insanity: nothing temporary about it.
After an hour of stitching, and un-stitching, and re-stitching, and un-stitching some more, they looked like this
My frustration level was high. There may have been swearing involved.
I did the only reasonable thing a person can do under these circumstances.
I threw them in the trash.
I am not ashamed.
Babies rarely wear booties anyways.
Then I tried to sew buttons on my brown sweater. Let us forget the fact that it took me an hour to find buttons for two sweaters. Over priced buttons. And I am still short two buttons for my blue sweaters. I was at Jo Ann's. I need to find a better place to buy buttons.
I started at the top of the button band and began sewing on my brown buttons. I matched ribbing to ribbing and it was looking fantastic. Then I got near the bottom of the button band.
Yeah, that's not going to work. How does that even happen? I guess I picked up a different number of stitches for each button band. Suck monkey!
First the booties and now this? There is only so much a knitter can take. My frustration was at an all time high. My vocabulary was decidedly not safe for blogs, or children, or civilization as a whole. I had to remind myself that this was a hobby and supposed to be fun.
Let us all take a moment to laugh at that sentiment.
I then did the only thing there was to be done at times like these. I carefully removed the six of nine buttons I had already sewn in place. I placed them in a zip lock bag so they would not be lost. I folded my sweaters and then I lovingly placed them in The Abyss.
And I cast on for something new.
That is the start of my new orange Olive Basket. Second times the charm? I am hoping the solid color will really bring out the gorgeous basketweave detail I am so in love with. My gauge is off (yes I did do a tiny gauge swatch, but I didn't wash it or remember to check my row gauge, so don't get too excited) so I cast on for the smallest size hoping for something that fit. I was most of the way through the cast on when I began to wonder if going down a needle size would have given me gauge. But I had already almost finished casting on 205 stitches. There was no turning back. Lazy knitting wins again!
Before I cast on for my new BUTTONLESS sweater I did get to finish one thing.
Pattern: Creature Comforts Cardi
Yarn: Grey acrylic I salvaged from a thrifted Old Navy sweater
Needles: Size 7 and Size 8 Addi Turbos. and some size 7 dpns for the sleeve ribbing
Modifications: I added a shawl collar using instructions from here. I only seamed the side seams 11 inches. I was only able to pick up 50 stitches for the arm ribbing, and I used size 7 dpns to knit the ribbing. It was knit as a big rectangle, but taking the advice of countless ravelers, I blocked the bottom wider than the top. It was a good call.
Don't get me wrong. I love this sweater. But this sweater does not love me. This is a grown up's sweater. A person who goes to museums and leasurely walks around. A person who attends lectures and sits still for hours. This is the sweater of a person who has lunch with friends at restaurants that have table cloths and silver wear. This is not a sweater for a person who vacuums. Or makes lunch. Or attends a parent teacher conference and wrangles a 5 year old at the same time. This sweater is fiddly to put on. You have to set the collar just right. Get too active and that fancy sweater looks like this.
But I love it anyways. I want to pretend I can go to a museum and just walk around admiring things, not carrying fifty pounds of gear and a probably carrying a cranky five year old as well. I want to pretend I could attend a lecture, or go to a restaurant with table cloths. The reality is, this sweater will best be worn by me when I am sick and my plans for the day will include sitting on my couch and breathing. But I will look fantastic sitting on the couch breathing. It is so comfy.
It was a really interesting construction. It has a metric ton of fabric.
I don't think I would ever knit a sweater with this shape again. But it was fun experiment.
In other news my new needles arrived.
It is time to get working on the super seekrit Knit Picks test knit. Life is so hard when one HAS to knit. Remember that vacuuming I mentioned earlier? That was me preparing my house for a few days of neglect while I knit and knit and knit. Any good suggestions for what to watch on Netflix?