Saturday, February 23, 2013

Neither Here Nor There

Busy Busy Day.

Grocery shopping.

Had to feed the children THREE times today.  What's up with that?

Haven't really seen The Greatest since Thursday.

Have resorted to communicating with him via the bathroom mirror.

 photo IMG_3832copy_zps1281e4e6.jpg

Knit with my knitting peeps.

That last one was easily the highlight of my week.

Still haven't cast on for my knit picks project.

Or dried the towels in my washing machine.


I'll do better tomorrow.

In the mean time, enjoy this little gem of a post I wrote back in September, but never got around to posting.

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  I've got my migraines mostly under control.  But monsoons are my downfall.  I can not control the weather.  Unfortunaetly the weather controls me.  The change in barometric pressure when a storm rolls in does a number on my head.  And a huge storm rolled in Monday night.

Tuesday found me balled up on the couch, drinking fluids and taking pain relievers.  I felt crummy.

Migraines always make things feel more sharp.  Light is piercing.  Sounds are grating.  Smells hurt.  And I don't want anything to touch me.  I am grouchy, and the world is an ugly place.

My poor kids.

At bedtime I went into Bird and Sweet Pea's room to kiss them goodnight.

Every night for pretty much the past year Bird has "hidden" beneath her covers.  I yell at her to get in bed and pretend to be mad.  She throws her covers off with a big flourish and reveals that she has tricked me and been in bed the entire time.  Much giggling follows.

Only last night I was tired.  I hurt.  I just wanted the children to go to bed so I could go to bed.

Bird lay hidden beneath her covers giggling in anticipation.

"Bird I know you're there."

Coming out for air she looks vaguely disappointed.  "I wanted to scare you."

I hurt and really just wanted to go to bed.  I did not want to play games.  "Bird you hid every single night."

Big eyes with a big smile look up at me. "I want to scare you every single night."

In too much pain to be charmed by her sweet face, I just want everything to end.  "But you don't.  I always know you're there.  You never scare me."

I regretted the words the moment they left my lips.

Undaunted by what could have been a horrible turning point in her childhood "Can't you just pretend?" she grinned at me.

Yes baby.  I will always pretend with you.

Tonight I will carefully lay on her bed while I wait for her to come to bed, and pretend I don't realize I'm laying on her.

She still "hides" every single night.

I hope she never stops.

No comments: