They say (and by they I mean Dr. Phil) that the trick to life is to find the one thing about you that is unique to you, and makes you special and is your alone. I've found it. And it's not knitting or being the world's best mother, or the greatest wife or anything good. I have a talent for killing. My name is Goddess and I kill computers. My Father is a computer programmer. I've always had a computer in my home, even before personal computers were in every home (that makes me sound so old). You would think I'd be better with them, but I'm not. In college I was alway losing papers and locking up computers. They threatened to ban me from the computer lab. Now my prefered method of killing is computer viruses. I find viruses that Nortons has no definition for. Viruses that freeze up the computer and can't even be back doored by dos. Viruses that the only cure for is the delete the entire hard drive effectively removing all files, photos, memories. In the past six months I have had to reimage two computers a combined total of nine times, including three times this week. I don't know how I find these viruses. It's not like I'm p0rn surfing. I'm mostly on other blogs and knitting sites. The worst part is after I reimaged the laptop for the second time this week I found the worm hanging out in a different file. How is the stupid thing still on my computer? That's my special gift.
How can you tell a true friend? A true friend listens to you whine about how you've killed two machines in one week and still offers to let you come over and check your e-mail from her computer.
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I've discovered that spyware finds me irresistable. My brand new computer had internet access for all of thirty minutes before it got attacked. Dave Chappelle is right: if the internet was a real place, nobody would want to go there. Your friend sounds very kind...and brave ;)
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