Friday, July 29, 2005


My heart grieves for my friend. I love her so much and wish I could take this burden from her, or at the least share the load with her. She shared with me her favorite picture of her Mother. It is a picture of her Mom and her Step-Father sitting close, smiling and laughing, and looking very happy together. She then went on to tell me that they were drunk in the picture and sitting on the kitchen floor. She told me that this is how she is going to remember her Mother: vivacious, vibrant, loving, loved, happy, spirited, strong, and beautiful, and drunk on the kitchen floor. I hope we are all remember by the ones we love in such a tender smiling way. May you be at peace Barbara.

One of the most beautiful and tragic things about life is that it goes on. Death feels so monumental that you don't (or atleast I don't) feel like smiling should be allowed at funerals, the utmost decorum and respect should be shown the grieving, laughter seems to almost trivialize the pain and loss yet laughter is what makes life bearable. There are holes, huge gaping holes that threaten to swallow you with pain, where people we love used to be, but life marches on with an unending relentless beat (often banged out on the tupperware by my children) and laughter is a healing balm to the soul. Far from being disrespectful to the departed it is often a celebration of who they were and a remembrance of their spirit that keeps them alive. It is in that spirit that I share the following.


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