Future Blackmail

I love my kids. I really do. But there are things that are just too good not to use. Stories I want to remember for future blackmail.

Pork Chop- She has a tiny butt. It's little and cute. But don't for the love of all that's holy tell her so. She will throw a full on tantrum insisting that she is a big girl with a big butt. She also loves public bathrooms. One day she will realize how gross the bathroom at Wal-mart really is and be completely repulsed at the thought that she used to wait until she got there to go pee. In fact she may claim that I am making this story up. But I'm not.

Meat- He opens his mouth as wide as he can and lets the dogs lick the inside of it. GROSS.

Bird- She feels everyone up. This first started when I weaned her. She would stick her hand down my shirt in an attempt to let me know she wanted to nurse. Now I think she does it for comfort. Only she no longer limits herself to me. First it was me, then Daddy, then the grandparents, then my friends (did I mention she felt up everyone at her birthday party). Now she does it to complete strangers at church. She too may later claim I'm making this up, but I'm not. Just ask the nice lady who was sitting behind us yesterday. Bird crawled under the pew. When this nice lady picked her up to hand her back Bird snuch her hand down the neck of her dress. I may have to find a new church.