Saturday, September 10, 2005

I have a really good excuse

I know I know. I promised. The worst part is I didn't even make dinner yesterday. I had Gabe buy the kids Happy Meals. Such a bad mommy/knitter/blogger. After I got home from knitting group I had to clean. Then I got Pork Chop off the bus. Then the kids wanted to play outside. We spent the rest of the day outside. It was really nice. We have bench swings set up in the side yard. I sat on the bench swing and worked on my socks while the children played. From the side yard I can see the children playing on the swing set in the front yard and see Bird toddling about doing her own thing in the back yard flower beds. But mostly I can see the flower bed along the side of the house. It is full of autumn blooms. They are lavender and beautiful. They are also full of life, small bees, big fat bumble bees, random insects and butterflies were all flitting around, quietly going about their business with the gentle hum that accompanies insect life. Between the hum, rhythm of the swing and the general soothing-ness of knitting my soul was at peace. That doesn't happen much these days. I was told this theory once about the tender mercies of God. The gist of it is that life is hard. By it's very nature it is a trial to be endured. We must endure tragedy to learn and grow. Sometimes things happen that God just can't stop or we would never progress. But there is no joy for him in our sorrow. So instead he sends us tiny pieces of pure joy, or contentment, or beauty. Small slivers of time that are comforting. These are his tender mercies. Comedy's I'm not sure what I believe about God. But at other times, like yesterday on the swing, I can feel him beside me. I chose to sit with him yesterday and watch my children play, and hear the insects, and feel the breeze, and marvel at the beauty he has created, and be at peace. I know you'll forgive me for abandoning you.

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