Why bother making promises that no one expects you to keep? It feels like a lie. Even if the only person you're lying to is yourself. Declaring "Next year I'll drink more water" while deep down you know you'll stick with diet coke is a waste of breath. It's a small little lie, but it is far from harmless. It undermines your mental image of who you are, you become a person who tells little lies. It chisels away at your integrity. It's never a good idea to lie especially to yourself.And I must confess I've never really seen the point of a big New Year's Celebration. It's an arbitrary date to start the new calender year. It doesn't coincide with the start of the school year, the fiscal year, the Chinese New Year. It's just a day, a day some men a million years ago decided would mark the start of a new year. It's just book keeping. So why throw a party to mark a book keeping event? If that were in fashion we would throw a parade each time I balanced my checkbook.
But I need a New Year this year. This year has been marked by several events that forever altered my existence and divide my life into before and after categories. Before my Mom died, and after my Mom died, before I moved and after I moved, before when I was happy and after...when I wasn't.I need a New Year. I need a new line in the sand, a line in my life, a new before and after. I need to to circle a date and forever say this is where it all changed for us. I need a red marker on a calender, a line in the sand, a New Year.
I don't have resolutions but I have hopes.
I hope to jump on the trampoline with my children.

I hope to laugh again.
I hope to make new friends.
I hope to stop crying.
I hope I knit less (no really, I do, stop laughing, less knitting more living in 2007)
I hope things get better, and we can live the next year with love, laughter and happiness. I hope the same thing for all of you.
So I'm drawing a line in the sand. I'm demanding of the universe that it gets better from here.

























