Avoiding the flowers, one day at a time

Official Flower Count = -1

What can I say? There is nothing I can say to defend myself. I'm still working on Pork Chops socks. I can't help it. They're fascinating to watch knit. They have the cutest thin stripes. I just love it. See.



I'm almost to the heel. Then I think I want to do a thin cable up the leg, but I think I'll have to turn the sock inside out so when I fold the cuff down the cable will show. I'll figure it out. I also want to make a matching pair for Bird if I have enough yarn left over. They would be so cute. I have a sickness where I have to dress my girls in similar or better yet matching outfits. Besides take a look at this poor Baby



She's so deprived she has to play in a shoe box. She deserves a pair of hand-knitted socks. Wonder if she would actually wear them or if I would have another Cable Sweater on my hands. I've truly got an illness. I want to knit things for my daughter who refuses to wear them, meanwhile I've got The Greatest who supports my knitting habit, buys me yarn, buys me fancy needles I would never buy for myself, and is all around completely wonderful. He just wants one lousy sweater and I go to great lengths to avoid working on it. I'm got a problem. Ok to be honest I've got problems. I'll get help after I finish the heel turn...and the cables...and the matching pair for Bird...and the pink/yellow pair for me...

I've been bad girl

Official Flower Count = -0

I really meant to be a good girl. I swore I wasn't going to swatch. But the universe was conspiring against me and let's face it, you can't fight the entire universe.

It all started on Saturday. I hopped online to check my email and I had a few minutes when I was done so I went blog hopping. I saw on Rincaro's Blog that she was making socks with the same Hydrangea yarn that I have, and they look fabulous. I was so jealous, yet I maintained my self-control and refused to swatch. Instead I worked on a project that is almost done but super-secret and therefore un-bloggable. This was allowed since I started this project before the afghan (see how this works, I can finish old projects in my efforts to avoid duplicate knit, I just can't start any new ones).

Then on Sunday The Greatest and I had a fight. A huge he-says-he's-leaving-so-I-say-don't-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out fight. Don't worry it only lasted fifteen minutes. When we were done yelling I went upstairs to make dinner for the kids. When I came back downstairs I found this on my bed.



"You can't buy your way back into my good graces with an early birthday present"

"I'm not trying to."

"Then what's that for."

"It's for you."

"I'll just wait until tomorrow to open it."

"You can wait if you want but you'll be sorry tomorrow."

"Why? It's not alive is it."

"No. You'll just be sorry."

"If you're trying to test my will-power it won't work. I'm not opening it."

"That's fine, but you'll be sorry."

I lasted an hour. An hour later I opened it and found this.



The Greatest had gone to a yarn store all by himself and bought me two size 0 circular needles because he knew I needed them so I could try knitting two socks at the same time. What's that? You can't really see the needles? Let me show you a close-up.



That's right. He bought me TWO size 0 Addi Turbo needles. So you can see why I had to just start using them right then and there. The universe was against me. I'm not a bad person. Who would have the will-power under circumstances like that. Don't hate me.



Aren't they cute? They're for Pork Chop. I suppose I should have started socks for The Greatest since he was so nice and all, but I wanted to get the hang of socks on circular needles before I messed up his yarn. And for the record I love the two circular needle method. It's going to completely eleminate the second sock syndrome. I just hate knitting that second sock. And the addi turbos are divine. I think they've ruined me for all other needles. I love this sock yarn. I can see how yarn snoobery and needle snobbery evolve. I must not be a snob, I must not be a snob, I must win the lottery so I can afford to be a snob.

The birthday love continued on Monday when The Greatest watched the children so I could spend two hours shopping with my Mom and my Sister. I got a few new shirts, a new pair of sunglasses (Bird snapped mine in half during church on Sunday) and this.



Isn't it cute? I just love hats. I had a brown one in college that I just loved and wore everywhere. My ex-boyfriends sister stole it during the break-up. Kristen Mason I hate you and I still want my hat back. This one is way cuter and I think I'll wear it everyday for a week just because.

In addition to snapping my sunglasses in half, Bird had also broken my Mother's Necklace. I got a call from the jewelry store that it was fixed and I could pick it up. So I got my necklace back on my Birthday.

And to finish the Birthday love I got this.



It's a Dairy Queen Chocolate Lover Ice Cream Cake. It has chocolate frosting, chunks of chocolate and brownie on top, two different kinds of chocolate ice cream, plus the layer of fudge crunch in the middle. Yum!

Since my birthday was also a National Holiday we grilled, all my siblings stopped by, the weather was perfect outside, it was a great day.

I swear I'll get back to the flowers next week, after I finish Pork Chop's socks.....and socks for The Greatest since he's been so great.....and my socks too because darn it I deserve to knit something for myself. As long as I finish the afghan by christmas it should be alright shouldn't it?

Didn't Dahlmer start out this way?

I was feeling domestic yesterday and I did a boatload of laundry. As I was carrying a load of folded sheets upstair to put in the linen closet I passed Pork Chop's bedroom and was surprized to see her just laying on her bed in the middle of the day. I asked if she was alright.

"Yeah, but I'm just a little sad"

Sitting on the bed
"Why are you sad baby?"

"Well, I'm pretending I had a hamster named Toby, but he died, and the heating vent is his grave and I put my Princess Pillow at the top so people will know he's buried there, and now I'm sad cause he's dead."

"Is everything alright Baby?"

"Yeah, I'm just playing."

OK, a little odd, but role playing is good right? It's a good thing that she's got an imagination and not at all wierd that she's role playing a dead hamster. So I go and put the sheets away. As I pass her room a second time I hear.

"Toby is that you?"

And she starts frantically clawing at the carpet by the vent.

"Whatcha doin' Pork Chop?"

"I thought I heard Toby, so I need to dig him up and see if he's still alive."

OK then, I'm just gonna go do more laundry and pretend I didn't see this. I'm sure pretending to bury your hamster alive is completely normal behavior and not at all an indicator of homocidal tendencies.

My new favorite thing

My new very favorite thing in the whole wide world, the thing I may love more than my children, The Greatest and life itself is....SCHOOL. I just love sending Pork Chop to school. As a small bonus she loves it too.

Yesterday I packed her up and put her on the bus. While I blogged yesterday Meat and Bird sat on a step looking at books together. I ran a few errands and for some reason it was easier with just two children, despite the fact that those children both wanted carried at the same time. I was in and out and even bought them M&Ms because they were just being so good. Then after lunch I put Bird down for a nap and put Dumbo on for Meaty, but without anyone to play with HE took a much needed nap. The house was silent and I got to knit for an hour and a half uninterrupted. I also got to watch my soaps. I haven't watched them in weeks, yet somehow I haven't missed much. Marlene still has amnesia, Sammy is still lying, Whitney is still in a convent, and Ethan is still a spineless idiot. Then the children got up just in time to get Pork Chop from the bus. They were so excited to see each other after their long separation the three children played together while I made a proper dinner for a change (chicken Parmesan with noodles, steamed broccoli and salad).

I felt like my day was a Norman Rockwell painting. These are the parenting days you dream about when you're rubbing your pregnant belly swollen with your first child, before you are hit with the sleep-deprived mess of bodily fluids that really is parenthood. It was truly magical, tantrums were minimal, children were cooperative and I didn't once have to pull out the steam cleaner. If only every day could pull together so seamlessly.

My flower count is still 0. It ought to be -1 because I still have to rip out the bad flower. My Pinwheel Blanket is up to 680 stitches. I'm to the border and hope to cast off today. Then it's Rosebud City for me. Chant with me: I will be good I will not swatch, I will be good, I will not swatch, I will be good, I will not swatch, I will be good, I will not swatch much.

The birthday love keeps rolling in

Yesterday I took my Mom to chemo. This will sound sick, but I had a really good time. My sister watched my children so it was just me and my Mom, something that rarely happens these days. We chatted and laughed on the drive up and back. After chemo we got a bite to eat together. And while she was actually getting her chemo I got to sit quietly and knit, and no one interrupted me for a glass of chocolate milk. It was really nice, except for the part where they pumped my mother full of toxic chemicals. Only five more weeks to go.

When we came home we got the mail and I mournfully said "none of that looks like yarn." Then we got home and I found a big box full of it.



This is the yarn for socks for The Greatest. When he got home from work I was showing him the yarn as he changed from his work clothes. The first thing I showed him was his yarn, and he told me I got new sock yarn just in time, he had almost worn out the other pair I knit him. He was actually wearing the socks I knit him earlier this year, and it's true, he's worn them so much the heel is thin. It just made me happy to know he truly likes something I put so much time and love into making for him (not to mention knitting him socks is a good way to avoid finishing Evil).



This is the hydrangea sock yarn. I think I'll make socks for the girls with this. When I showed it to The Greatest he was a little miffed because this yarn feels softer and silkier than his sock yarn. I told him he'd have to branch away from taupe to get the good stuff.



This may be my favorite yarn purchase. I'm going to make socks for me with this. I'm didn't used to be a fan of color. I wore all black for five or six years straight. It's just recently that I've started wearing color in my wardrobe and I'm surprised by the color combinations I'm drawn to. I just love this pink and yellow. I'll probably knit these socks up first when I finally get to play with the yarn purchases.



This is my Merino Style Hollyberry yarn for Hopeful. I think it will make the nicest holiday top. Hopefully (no lame pun intended) I'll be able to finish it before the holidays. If this doesn't work for Hopeful I'll swatch it up for the knitted corset.



This is the yarn I was most excited to buy and the yarn I am most uncertain about. I could not photograph this color and make the color come out true. It is more of a medium purple, very pretty, but the color it photographs is the color I really wanted. I still like it enough to keep and and swatch it for the knitted corset.

So there's my yarn. I've forbidden myself to so much as swatch it before I finish the Pinwheel Blanket and the Afghan for my Aunt. I haven't touched the afghan, and my pinwheel blanket is up to 620 stitches. It could be awhile. I do find it ironic that I took a break from my Aunt's blue blanket to knit a ..... Blue blanket.

My Birthday is coming early this year

My birthday is next week. This year will be a melancholy kinda birthday. I lie about my age. I tell people I'm 25, but I also tell people I'm lying. I figure it's alright to lie if people know you're lying. I won't be 30 next week, but I'll be dangerously close. I could have an obsessive age-related breakdown, but I'm saving that for when I actually do turn thirty. Atleast this year my birthday is on a national holiday. That happens every few years and when I was little I always liked the thought that the entire country got the day off work on MY birthday. Now I like it when my birthday falls on a holiday because The Greatest gets the day off on my birthday. My Mother went shoe shopping yesterday and she brought me home an early birthday present (no it's not shoes)




Isn't it cute. I used to hate figurines and knick-knacks. I think it has something to do with the summers I worked at Merry Maids, and how much I hated dusting old people's shelves full of a lifetime of random crap. But now I really like accumulating my own lifetime of crap. Especially this figurine. She's knitting a sweater for her snowman, and the other snowman is holding her yarn. Does it get any cuter than that? Thanks Mom!

No time for pictures

Just a quick post. Gotta shower and clean the kitchen before I leave for knitting group in, oh, forty-five minutes. Guess the dishes will sit.

Pork Chop had the best time at school. She had music and art. She thought buying her lunch all by herself was the best thing ever. But by far her favorite part was having homework. She was so happy to do her homework. I really should capture these things on video because in a few short years I'll be alternately screaming and begging her to do her homework. But for now school is the greatest thing in her life and she is counting the days until she goes back, as am I.

My Knit Picks order included Andean Silk in Cornflower for the Knitted Corset, Merino Style in Hollyberry for Hopeful, Sock Garden in Star Gazer Lily and Hydrangea for me (maybe I'll make one into socks for the girls), and Essential in Fawn for The Greatest. I should have pictures in 5 to 14 days.

My Official Flower Count = 0

I haven't even ripped out the bad flower yet. I'm a bad knitter. I've been consumed by the Pinwheel Blanket. I picked up the softest baby yarn and it is just beautiful. Unfortunately it's also dk weight and I'm gonna have about 800 stitches by the time I'm done. Next time I'm gonna make it with some super chunky yarn. Pictures later. Gotta hit the showers.

Sometimes God Love Me

I've been craving new yarn lately. I go to Knit Picks every day to look at their pretty colors. I about had a heart attack when they came out with a fall line. Who knew yarn came in seasonal lines like clothing? I've been whining for weeks about how I want to order yarn. And today I did it. I wrote a resume for a woman my Mother works with. I not only wrote her a resume, but I made a letter head for her, typed her references, wrote three separate cover letters for three different companies AND I gave her a crash course in basic Microsoft Word so she could put that on her resume. And I got paid to do it! I spent every penny on yarn from Knit Picks. I'm gonna make Hopeful AND the Knitted Corset. I also got three different kinds of sock yarn because they were soooo pretty (well two were so pretty, and one is just brown for The Greatest, can I help it if he only wants to wear brown socks). I'm so excited. I can't wait to get my box of yarn. I might roll around naked on it. I'll be sure to photograph it before I do.

And on a side note, I am LOVING Kindergarten. Pork Chop hasn't come home yet. But I'm starting to remember what afternoons are like with only two children. You put the youngest one down for a nap and set the older on in front of a video, then you are FREE to do whatever you want. I'd better enjoy this while it lasts because in a few weeks I start babysitting my sister's children and this quiet freedom will all be a fond memeory and I'll be back to playing "Go Fish" with my niece while contemplaing the amount of damage a pair of dpns can do.

First day of School

Today I sent my baby to school *sob*



I thought I would be fine. I was ready for her to go. She was driving me crazy. Hey I love the girl but I can only play "Go Fish" and "I spy" so many times before I want to impale myself on some dpns. But last night around 11 I had a major freak out. I couldn't remember what time the bus came, I was worried she would have trouble buying her lunch, I wondered if I had taught her enough things about being a good person so she would make friends. I worried that she wouldn't have fun. I hope the other girls are all nice to her. She's so quick to cry I hope she doesn't cry. So far she's lived in a world where people adore her. No one teases her, no one is deliberately mean to her. She is now out of my protective care. I hope I've prepared her. I'm sure she'll be just fine. I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry about this stuff.

I finished this for her last night.



There was no pattern. I just made a rectangle, seamed it together and attached an I-cord handle. I filled it with a few small toys and put it in her backpack for the bus ride home. I hope she likes it.

My official flower count is....Are you ready?.....

Flower Count = 0!!!!

I did do this



But I don't like it. I think there is too much white and not enough yellow. I'm going to have to play around with the chart until I get something I like. I've also decided not to do horizontal flowers. The pattern calls for the flowers to be horizontal on the end panels and vertical on the middle panels. I like the vertical flowers better, so they'll all be vertical. I'll just alternate the way the stems lean.

And because I'm such a bad girl I picked up some yarn at Wal-Mart last night and cast on for the Pinwheel baby blanket. Then I ripped and re-cast, and ripped and re-cast. I must have tried six or seven times. I've finally got something I think is going to work. I'm a believer in the psychic powers of Tara. Right after I read her message I got irrefutable if slightly late proof that this blanket is definitely not for me.

Big News

Diamond Count = 28!!!!!!

All done knitting diamonds. My delight lasted about five seconds when I realized two things.

1. I have nothing to knit now except Evil.

2. I have to duplicate knit 28 freakin' flowers.

I figured that since I was going to spend a lot of time with a darning needle I should make peace with it and finish the hand sewing on the surprise knitting. So I did. Now like Bird's cabled sweater all the surprise knitting needs is buttons (see the holy trinity of three finished objects at a time taking shape). So today I shall begin sewing on flowers, although I'm getting paid to write a resume for someone and I need to finish that, and I've got a cute little pink purse I started for Pork Chop that I would like to have done to give her tomorrow after her first full day of school (that doesn't count as having something to knit, it just needs bound off and seamed, should take less than a half hour).

I've got a ton of patterns just waiting to be knit, they just need yarn. I've got christmas knitting to start. I've got Hopeful and the Knitted Corset. I want to make a scarf for my Dad. Yet for some inexplicable reason I'm becoming obsessed with the idea of making a Pinwheel Baby Blanket. I hope that doesn't mean anything.

This is a secret

Diamond Count = 26

So my daughter has found her true love. No not Bird and Kung Fu Chuck. I'm taking about Pork Chop and Sporticus. Who's Sporticus you ask? Let me show you Sporticus.



Sorry that's the best picture I can find. He's from Nickelodeon's Lazy Town. And Pork Chop LOVES him. Most of the Moms I know love him. I just don't see it. Sure he's all muscely and stuff, but I can't get past the cheesy mustache.



Pork Chop doesn't care about the mustache. She even drew a picture of him.



Sporticus is on the left (see the mustache). I'm in the middle, and Pork Chop is on the right (notice she is in blue marker like Sporticus). See how we're all smiling. That's because we're all so happy that Sporticus and Pork Chop are going to get married when she grows up. But I'm not supposed to tell anyone. This doesn't count as telling people right?

I think I've created a monster

Diamond Count = 25.5 (only 2.5 diamonds to go!)

So I've been blogging for almost eight months. I really like it. I'm always looking at things and thinking "I should blog this". It's border-line obsession. But I've realized that's nothing compared to The Greatest. He decided on Saturday that he needed a blog. He wanted me to help him set it up. I'd forgotten how picky the Man can be sometimes.
"Let's try this template"
"No Wait what about this one"
"no try this one"
"just one more"
"can we try this color"
"no change it back"
"no wait change it to the second one again"
"no change it back"
"that picture is too big"
"now it's too small"
"why is it so blurry"
"can we get rid of the blogger bar at the top?"
"why not"
"what's that symbol"
"can you change this"
"what about this"
"no change it all back"
"what do you mean you want a divorce?"

But then end result was pretty good and I think it's got potential.

THE MAN CAVE

Here is the extreme downside to The Greatest having his own blog. I have an e-mail address. It is my name, my full name, my entire here-I-am-please-stalk-me-like-that-guy-did-in-'97-name. I don't want that anywhere near my blog or my children, so I've been using HIS very anonymous e-mail address for my blog. Comments get sent there. My photobucket account is in his user name. My stats counter is in his user name. So he is a little unhappy with me. He has to come up with a new user name to access these resources. I offered to share the photobucket account with him, but then he pissed me off. He was looking at photos and asking questions like "why are there japanese beetle pictures in here" (hello, did he not read my ode to the japanese beetle) Then he wanted to know why there was a picture of a Victoria Secret model in there (hello, again did he not see this) And I realized that no, he did not read my blog at all. So that time last week I thought he stole the debit card just to keep me from ordering yarn because he read on my blog that I was going to? Just coincidence. I'm off to order yarn (ok that last part is pure fantasy, but wouldn't it have been nice)

I've gotten inquiries as to what Evil is. Evil is a sweater I'm knitting for The Greatest. He couldn't find a pattern he liked so he brought me his favorite sweater and told me to just copy that. Then we ordered the 100% wool yarn in a huge cone off e-bay and the wool is very twine like. The test swatches all came out nice and soft and wearable after washing, but the yarn before washing is very unpleasant to work with. The entire sweater is stressful, there is no pattern, and the yarn actually rubs the skin off my finger if I knit with it too long. So I've dubbed the sweater Evil. I made a quilt for The Greatest. It took five years to get around to finishing it. I think I'm looking at a similar timeline for his sweater.

Big Doofus

Diamond Count = 23

I've got the fourth panel knit. Only one more freakin' panel to go. Honestly I haven't minded knitting this long project. I'm just itchin to start something new, and I'm afraid I'll finish this afghan and not have new yarn in my stash, then I'll be forced to either not knit (my nerves can't take that) or knit Evil (which is equally bad for my nerves). I was going to order the yarn yesterday tight budget be damned but The Greatest had the debit card. Somehow he just knows (or he reads my blog).

I would like to thank everyone who took the time to comment yesterday. When I looked over yesterday's post this morning I had to laugh. I feel like I was begging "Please comment, please validate me, and please link to me." Sometimes I'm such a big doofus. I love ya'll. But if you want to link to me, please go ahead (see I'm a big doofus).

Filler

Diamond Count = 22

I had a busy knitting day yesterday. My children on the other hand watched Dumbo three times in a row. What can I say? It's Meaty's favorite movie. What could be better than a movie with a TRAIN and a "BEE-BEE EL-PHANT"! I love toddler-ese. That moment of development where they realize words are power and they can use them to get things they want. They work so hard to form their words, and you can just see them thinking, the little wheels turning in their heads to grab the right magic word from their brain to trick you into submitting to their will. Meat has already learned that if he asks his Grammie for a popsicle with a most polite please she'll usually give him one. They work so hard to communitcate with you and they are so sincere in what they say, and you're lucky if you can understand half of it. Where am I going with this? No where. I like to post often, but today I've got nothing. So I'm just writing my random thoughts. I did nothing interesting yesterday that is blog worthy, so this is just filler until I get a better idea. I'm really too tired today to be witty or relevant or even attempt to be funny. Today is just boring filler. I apologize.

No wait, I did have something to say. I hate spammers. I know everyone hates spammers but I really really really hate them. I love comments. I love knowing people actually read what I write. I love going to the websites of people who leave comments and reading what they write. I love checking my e-mail and seeing comments. The only thing better than comments is going to someone's site and seeing my site in the sidebar. I feel very cool and important then. So imagine my disappointment yesterday when I get two comments within a minute of each other and they are both spam. I hate spam. What a buzz kill. If you are not spam please take a moment to comment, even if it's to berate me for boring filler.

Another day another diamond

Diamond Count = 20

It's coming along. I knit panels 1, 3, and 5 first. Now I'm knitting panel 2. The diamond patterns are staggered on the different panels. Since I have two diamonds done on panel 2 I thought now would be a good time for a photo op.



See how pretty it's going to be? Although I must admit my desire to knit something new is growing. It's not that I'm bored with diamonds, I just want to create somthing other than a diamond for a while. Maybe I'll finally block the hated cable sweater for Bird (hated by her not me), or finish sewing together the surprise knitting (although I hate sewing), or finish knitting the pink purse for Pork Chop that I haven't blogged about because I thought I could get it done in one day (and I could have if I hadn't abandoned it for the endless diamond ring of hell then forgotten about it). Or maybe I'll quietly take thirty dollars from the savings account and buy some yarn. The Greatest will never know (unless he decides today of all days to read my blog). Would that be wrong?

So that's what they're calling it these days?

Diamond Count = 19

So knitting this endless afghan is a nice thing to do. And honestly I really enjoy knitting it. I thought I would get very bored of it around the third panel, but I'm on panel number four and I'm not bitching too much yet. I keep thinking about how surprised and happy my Aunt will be to get it. I am itching to start Hopeful, but I'll have to wait until next payday to order the yarn for it. (I seem to recall posting something similar before the last paycheck, where does all the money go?). So while I'm enjoying knitting this project it does make for a boring blog. Let me entertain you with a conversation I had with Pork Chop yesterday.

"So Mommy, I need to give you a shot, then I'll put your favorite band-aid over it."

Not looking up from diamond number 19
"A shot? Will it hurt?"

"Yes, a lot."

"Well gee, thanks for sugar coating it."

"What?"

"Nevermind, why do I need a shot?"

"Because you're sick"

"Ok, I'm ready, give me my shot."

Administers shot, then places pretend band-aid
"Did you see your band-aid, it's your favorite kind of band-aid"

Not looking up from cable
"I have a favorite band-aid?"

"yes it has a picture of you and daddy on it."

Still looking at knitting
"Really? What are we doing?"

"You're makin' lllllll"

Looks up from knitting and drops a stitch

"Lllunch"

Breaths again
"Oh, what kind of lunch?"

The universe is against me

Diamond Count = 18

It's no secret. I've been in a bit of a funk. I've been bitchy. I've been cranky. I've been depressed and unhappy. I've decided to get over it, yup, I'm just gonna get over it. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I try very hard to be positive. Sometimes my Pollyanna-like attitude even annoys me. It takes a lot of energy to be positive all the time. I thought it was exhausting and I finally gave up. I now realize the depression eats up even more energy. I don't know why this came as a shock. I've battle depression before. I've been hospitalized for it before. Depression is my old friend. It's like one of those friends you had in high school, the one that was never a good friend, she used you and stole your boyfriend, but you stayed friends out of habit and fear because if she stopped being your friend who would sit with you at lunch. I hate feeling this way. I made a plan. Just making a plan was a huge step in the right direction. I love having a plan, just feeling that I know what I'm doing, I've got a purpose. Having a plan makes me feel safe (and for some odd reason so does a kitchen full of food. I always feel safe with a fully stocked fridge). I was going to start doing Pilates again because it always made me feel good. I was going to stop eating so much junk food and chocolate because that can't be good for you and eating more fruit and healthy things. I was going to wash my hair everyday, yes every single day (I'm not sure if people who aren't stay at home moms understand what a feat this is, but believe me it's a serious challenge) because that always make me feel good. I was going to start taking care of myself for a change until I felt better. I was going to start today.

Today I got up and both The Greatest and I have the flu. He has it much worse than I do, I haven't actually puked yet. And God Bless him he still went to work. But needless to say I won't be working out or washing my hair or eating today (hey wasn't stop eating junk food on my list. I'll be achieving something today).

In an unrelated theme. I've started a knit-a-long. A very kind and witty woman gifted me with this pattern.



It's called Hopeful. The pattern can be purchased here. The pattern is five dollars, pretty cheap right. Here's the greatest part: for every pattern she sells the designer will donate six dollars to the Susan Love foundation. Their mission is to cure breast cancer in the next ten years. I hope that is soon enough for my Mother. Please consider buying this beautiful pattern. It is well written and has a very interesing sleeve construction. The KAL is here. I've never started a knit-a-long before and would like this one to be a success. So Please come join us and knit.

I'd like to control my own life again please

*Sigh*

For the past few months I feel like my life has been in a holding pattern. The Greatest and I have been just circling around our goals for our family, but not getting any closer to achieving them.

Then yesterday I found out my Mom's cancer is back. Her breast cancer has moved to her liver. Did you know that not all cancer is created equal and breast cancer is an especially aggressive form of cancer. It kills quickly. And apparently when breast cancer moves to another organ, like say the liver, it does not behave like liver cancer, it acts like breast cancer in a new neighborhood (you could take the Clampetts out of the country but you can't take the country out of the Clampetts. Am I old because I know who the Clampetts are? Beverly Hill Billies people). My Mother starts chemo on tuesday. I'm sure she'll be fine. She's my Mom, she has to be. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and all that crap.

I just would like to be able to control some aspect of my life. Just one.

Does Quizilla know me?

You are interchangeable.Fun, free, and into everything, you've got every eventuality covered and every opportunity just has to be taken. Every fiber is wonderful, and every day is a new beginning. You are good at so many things, it's amazing, but you can easily lose your place and forget to show up. They have row counters for people like you.
What kind of knitting needles are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The sad part is how true it is.

My new daydream

Diamond Count = 12

Woo-Hoo, I didn't knit a darn thing yesterday. I'm ahead of schedule anyway. I can take a day off. Actually I've been tired latey. So tired I don't even possess the energy to play with sticks and string. Bird is either teething or has the start of an ear infection, either way she's not sleeping, ergo neither am I. I spent the entire morning yesterday trying to find time to workout because exercise is supposed to give you energy. I think that's a big fat lie, but hey, I'll try almost anything once. Then I spent all afternoon trying to get a shower because after you finally exercise you stink, then you have to use all this new-found energy trying to smell like someone who has not exercised, thus expending all your energy leaving you at square one exactly where you were before you exercised. What's the point? Oh yeah, here's my point: after I showered I was drying off and I came to a horrible realization. My tan lines were fading. My skin was no longer golden but a slightly off yellow. How could this happen? What had I been doing with my time? Why wasn't I spending more of it laying poolside before the pool closes in two weeks? So into our swimsuit we got, and poolside we went. I love the pool. Because we went so late in the day we stayed a lot later than we usually do and I discovered an amazing thing. If you stay past five you get the pool to yourself. Most of the families pack it up around four maybe four-thirty. They've gotta get home and start dinner. The pool is only open until seven so there's no point in coming back after dinner. So if you stay past five the pool is yours. It was so relaxing. It was quiet, there were fewer kids so it was easier to see your own child and make sure they were safe and where they were supposed to be. I think I want to live at the pool complex. Surely they need someone to stay on after the pool closes and make sure it is safe, like onsite security. And if that person should happen to turn on the waterslides or the kiddie pool mushroom or the lazy river from time to time would that be so bad? The Greatest and I sit around daydreaming about moving out and having our own place again. If that place were the Municipal Pool Complex would that be so bad?

Atleast he's got an imagination

Diamond Count = 12!
Two Panels down, three to go. They do take an unimaginable amount of yarn to make. I've made two panels and I'm on my fourth skien of yarn. I think I'm gonna need more yarn than the original 56 ounces the pattern calls for. Thank goodness for no dye lot yarn.

So for Christmas last year we bought Meaty a GeoTrax Train Set. It's really cool. Then The Greatest proceeded to drive me nuts for several months looking for additional track and gadgets, more engines and the like to go with the original set. Stores were sold out for months after Christmas. They finally restocked and we spent a small fortune on the elevation series and more remote controlled engines. The stupid track was bigger than his bed (I've blogged this before and you can find that post here) Anyways we have this huge train set with four remote controlled engines. Mostly Meaty likes to push the trains by hand around the track. The remote controlled engines make him nervous. He can't stand having more than one running on the track at a time. He's afraid they'll run into each other and it just isn't fun for him. But we have this train and he plays with it almost every day. Then yesterday he decides this is a train



And he spent all afternoon playing with these three blocks of wood leftover from putting Mom's hardwood floor in. Why do I bother buying real toys when they'd rather play with a laundry basket and a block of wood?

This is all just coincidence right?

So my best friend and I live oddly parallel lives. My oldest daughter and her daughter are one month apart. My son and her son are one month apart. Her son was hospitalized for pneumonia and one week later my son was hospitalized with a rare allergic reaction. We close on our house and move in with my parents. One week later they close their house and move in with his parents. When my friend's mother died I told my husband that I was worried about my Mom. I wanted to keep a close eye on her for the next week. I was joking, sort of. When a week went by I was a little relieved, ok a lot relieved. Did I ever tell you I can be superstitious and irrational, full of all kinds of magical thinking. Then on day nine my Mom tells me that they've found lesions on her liver and she needs to go the James for a CAT scan to see if her breast cancer (which is all gone) has metasticised to her liver. I'm worried. Her heart can't stand another round of full blown chemo. The Greatest says I'm borrowing trouble, that there are all kinds of things that could cause the lesions. But what can I say, I'm a worrier. My Mother will be alright, because she is my Mother and she has to be.

How to tell if you work for Satan

One panel down, only four to go!



Then of course I have the embroidery, the seaming, the single crochet around the entire thing, and the triple knot fringe to go, but hey I'm an optimist. I like to see the glass as half full and completely ignore the fact that it's filled with clamato. (did that even make sense? I really need to start getting more sleep.) And on that lame note I'm gonna go. I've got a train track to build.

Can you possibly resist this face when he says "Wanna play train track Mommy?"



I don't want to alarm you but if you can you may be a minion of Satan himself.

Diamond Count = 5

WooHoo. I'm ahead of schedule. Only one more diamond and I'll have my first panel done! Yeah!

Would love to stay and tell a cute story, but knitting group is coming in two hours and I gotta vacuum.

Looks a lot like yesterday, only longer

This is gonna get boring real fast. Not the knitting of the afghan, which I'm sure will get boring at some point, but the sharing of pictures of the knitting of the afghan. See.



Looks a lot like yesterday's picture only longer. My goal is one diamond a day. That should put me seaming in three weeks. But we'll see. I also have to finish the surprise knitting somewhere in there, and possibly Bird's sweater if I get motivated enough to buy buttons. Pictures of finished objects= fun and exciting, but I think pictures of an ever growing panel of knitting will get boring real fast.

I guess I'll just have to entertain myself by telling random stories. Today's story?

How I'm gonna get rich!

I've figured out how I'm going to get rich. Yesterday my Sister calls and wants to know if I wanted some company for the day. I told her I would love company but I really HAD to spend the day cleaning. Not just random picking up, but actual deep pick-the-chewing-gum-out-of-the-carpet-washing-the-chocolate-fingerprints-off-the-walls cleaning. Her reply "I'll come help." Not only did she come over, but she really did help. We cleaned from ten until three. Sheets were changed, toilets were scrubbed, walls were washed, furniture was polished, my two year old was banned from ever chewing gum again. We were so tired, and I don't know about her but my back hurts. But by golly the house looked great for about a half hour, then we let the kids back inside. It's a rare person who will come help you clean, then actually be of some help. I think I'll sell her on e-bay.

Effortless Beauty

Well here I am again. Yesterday I had nothing to knit but Evil. I need to buy buttons for Bird's Sweater, but the love is gone from that project. Somehow her refusal to try it on has made me despondent about the whole thing, so now it sits unloved in the knitting basket. The surprise knitting is almost done, which is a good thing, cause I'm gonna need it to give to the person soon. But finishing work can be so boring, so it too sits unloved beneath Bird's cabled sweater. That leaves me with Evil to knit. And I just can't bring myself to do it. I wanted to knit something soft, and Evil is definitely not soft. I wanted to order some yarn from Knitpicks for my corset-a-long, but that was going to take too long, so instead I bought the largest amount of yarn I have ever bought for one single project. See



And I'm still two skeins short on the blue yarn, thank goodness for no dye lot acrylic. I'm making this for my Aunt.



Last year my Aunt gave me all her old knitting needles and crochet hooks. She used to knit and crochet, but she is now too ill to continue. Then a few months ago she gave me all her old pattern books and magazines. There were some gorgeous patterns, like this afghan, and some truly comical ones from the seventies. All in all it was a very nice thing for her to do. As we were looking through the patterns together she paused to look at this pattern and she told me she purchased this book just for this pattern, but never got around to making it. I knew right then I wanted to make it for her. It is supposed to be knit is wool, but my aunt is allergic to wool so I am knitting it in acrylic. It was going to be acrylic or cotton and cotton was getting way to pricey. I'm knitting the afghan in the lovely "light country blue" the flowers will be duplicate knit in shades of yellow. I think it will be just lovely. I've got a bit done already.



Two diamonds down, only 22 more to go. This pattern is deceptively easy. Mostly it's just stockinette combined with reverse stockinette to create the diamonds. Then there's the cable on the side, but that only uses one kind of cable stitch, so I don't even have to remember which direction to cable, it's always just C4B. See Easy Beauty. It is knit in panels that are later sew together. Here is a better picture of the stitches and a more accurate picture of the color



Right now I'm in the new love phase of knitting where I'm completely infatuated with the pattern and want to sit knitting all day long and just let the kids fend for themselves (and I wonder why they're acting more feral than usual lately and the house is an absolute wreck). But I know this shall pass and when it does Evil is always waiting.

I think she loves it

I've done very little on Bird's sweater, but there is very little left to do. Just buttons, blocking and sewing the tag on. I think this sweater may be the most beautiful thing I have created since I started knitting. I am very proud of it. This is what Bird thinks of it.



She hates it. She actually said the words "No, No, Noooooooo" for the very first time. Then she tried to rip the sweater off and finally fell off the couch to the floor clawing her chest still yelling "Nooooooooooooooo." It was her very first temper tantrum. Such rage from such a littlle thing. Wonder if she'd like it better with buttons.

Grief

My heart grieves for my friend. I love her so much and wish I could take this burden from her, or at the least share the load with her. She shared with me her favorite picture of her Mother. It is a picture of her Mom and her Step-Father sitting close, smiling and laughing, and looking very happy together. She then went on to tell me that they were drunk in the picture and sitting on the kitchen floor. She told me that this is how she is going to remember her Mother: vivacious, vibrant, loving, loved, happy, spirited, strong, and beautiful, and drunk on the kitchen floor. I hope we are all remember by the ones we love in such a tender smiling way. May you be at peace Barbara.

One of the most beautiful and tragic things about life is that it goes on. Death feels so monumental that you don't (or atleast I don't) feel like smiling should be allowed at funerals, the utmost decorum and respect should be shown the grieving, laughter seems to almost trivialize the pain and loss yet laughter is what makes life bearable. There are holes, huge gaping holes that threaten to swallow you with pain, where people we love used to be, but life marches on with an unending relentless beat (often banged out on the tupperware by my children) and laughter is a healing balm to the soul. Far from being disrespectful to the departed it is often a celebration of who they were and a remembrance of their spirit that keeps them alive. It is in that spirit that I share the following.

Sad today

I was getting ready to blog. I have cute pictures of Bird in her almost done sweater. And cute pictures of Bird having her way with an entire new box of tissues. Then my best friend called. Her Mother died last night. I am so sad. I wish I could fix this for her. I am so sorry and that's all I could say to her. The funeral is friday.

Well sure a trained monkey can knit

But can he cable? Check out these rows of cables



I've got the sleeves done. I just need to sew them on, see.



Then it's just the neck band and button bands and I'm done. And I have to sew the buttons on, and weave all the ends in, and block it, and sew on the cute tag The Greatest bought for me. Ok. Maybe I'm not as close to done as I want to be. But isn't it going to look cute when I am done?

When I'm done I will once again be stuck with nothing to knit but evil. I'm thinking of ordering a boat load of yarn from knitpicks. I want to get some Andean Silk for the knitted corset (I'm thinking Bluebell), and some Shine for a blanket for my Aunt (in River), and some sock yarn (Sock Garden in Star Gazer Lily), and some Alpaca Cloud (in Mist and also in Tidepool just because it reminds me of the cover of the Harry Potter book) and some Wool of the Andes Natural so I can try to dye it with Kool-Aid and maybe some Wool of the Andes in color so I can try felting, or I could always felt the Kool-Aid dyed stuff. Really I'd be happy with any of their yarn. But I'll have to wait for payday, and maybe not this Friday's payday, I may have to wait for payday two weeks from Friday. I hate being an adult and paying bills, and buying groceries instead of yarn. I suppose I could always finish my surprise knitting. I still need to buy something from the store so I can finish it, but that would be cheaper than knitpick yarn. And being realistic I could never order all that yarn anyways. I gotta buy school supplies. Yikes I can't believe my baby is going to kindergarten in less than a month. Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to register her for kindergarten and I got kicked out of the school for being unpleasant and argumentative. Really it wasn't my fault. It was Mrs. Whatshername's fault. But if I haven't already told that story I'll have to tell it some other time. I've got sleeves to sew on. I'll leave you with Batman (who is my all time favorite comic book/cartoon hero).

Can I borrow your ego?

I've had an unusual weekend. I went to spend the weekend with my best friend for her daughters fifth birthday party. My best friend is perfect. She is always put together. She lost all her baby weight within a month of giving birth and is rail thin with no cellulite. Her hair is always perfect. Her children are children, but if she tells them to stop they stop. That's a pretty impressive thing. If you didn't know her you would hate her just looking at her. No one should be that perfect. But when you talk to her you find she is wonderful. She's funny, and thoughtful, and kind, impossible to hate. We laugh together. She's everything a best friend should be. I love her. She sold her house and moved a week after we sold our house and moved. We sold our house and moved because the economy has not been kind to our family. We are now staying with my parents until we get back on our feet (we have a plan it's just going to take a few more months.) She sold her house to move closer to her Mother who is very ill. She stayed with her in-laws for a few weeks, then she bought a new house. Now instead of living several minutes from me, she lives several hours from me. We went to see her and had a great time. But I was struck by the dichotomy of who we are as people. I was so jealous of her house. I cried. I want a place of my own so bad it physically hurts. Her house is huge and beautiful, but I don't even want a huge beautiful house, I just want a crappy apartment in a fairly safe neighborhood that I can call mine. I miss having a place to call mine, with my things, that I can decorate. A place where my children can be themselves, where I don't feel they are constantly being watched to see if they are getting into things they shouldn't. Meaty is getting very physical with his sisters when they touch his stuff. I think it's because he is constantly told not to play with things because they are his grandparents and he feels he has to fight for what is his. Somedays I feel overwhelmed by his behavior and the fact that its not getting better. My best friend's son is the same age as Meaty and he was a perfect angel. All the fights between the two boys were started by my son. I feel like I'm failing. I feel like I'm drowning. I don't want to be this person. I don't want to be jealous of my best friend. I want to be happy for her that things are going well for her. And I am happy for her. I also know things are hard on her with her Mother and I am paralyzed by my inability to help her with that struggle. I feel like a bad friend. So I'm feeling like a bad friend and a bad mother. Then I meet one of my best friend's new friends. She is a wonderful woman. So funny, a lot like my best friend. And I inadvertently offended her. I made a joke, the kind I would make with my Mom or Sister. The kind they would laugh at, but I offended this woman. I didn't mean to. I'm very upset that I accidentally offended this woman that I barely knew. So now I'm feeling socially inept. The Greatest, and he is the greatest because I can confess these things to him and not feel judged, he says I just can't see myself from the outside. He's not sure who I'm looking at when I talk about myself. He says I always downplay my talents when I shouldn't. I always just shrug about my knitting and tell people a trained monkey could do it, and he says that's just not true. But I really feel that way. It's no big deal, if I can do it anyone can. I don't think it's special or unique to me. I've been in this thing for about eight months now where I'm really down on my body. I know what set me on the path, but that issue is gone, and now I just can't get off this ride. I've lost my baby weight. I'm down to pre-pregnancy size (even if I have gained five pounds since moving in with my Mother). But that isn't enough. My stomach is still round, I think my thighs are too big, my boob will never go back where they belong without the help of a good plastic surgeon and the lottery. But the Greatest thinks I must be looking in a fun house mirror. He says he doesn't see any of that. I think he might need glasses. Actually I'm wondering where did my self-esteem go. Why is my view of myself so distorted and negative? When did I become this person? Got any spare self-esteem laying around?

Knitting right along

I think I've made quite a bit of progress on Bird's cabled sweater. I've got the back all done. See



While I know the shot isn't particularly great at showing off the work, I kept it because I just loved the lighting. I know I said it's a cabled sweater but the back is all stockingnette. I'm especially proud at how much I've gotten done considering that I've been spending my evening after the kids go to bed (prime knitting time) reading Harry Potter outloud with The Greatest instead of knitting. Here's a close up of how the "spots" are knitting up.



I usually knit with worsted weight yarn. This is "double knit" or DK weight and I just love it. It is producing such a thin delicate fabric with a nice drape. I may never go back to bulky yarns again. But I am having a bit of trouble with the cables on the front. With bulky yarn the holes from cabling are less noticible or easier to fill in. I just need to knit tighter to hide the holes with this thinner yarn. I'll sort it out eventually.

On an unrelated note. Here's a picture of Bird



Notice anything new? Different perhaps? She came home from her Grandparents with BANGS! Someone cut bangs. I'm so mad. First of all that was her first haircut. I missed it and don't even have a lock of hair to show for it. Second of all that's just crossing a line. It's one thing to put hair up in a funky style with barettes and ribbons. But to do something permanent like cut hair, that's my decision as Mommy to make. Pork Chop has never had bangs. I don't have bangs. What on earth made them think I wanted Bird to have bangs. (For the record I don't have anything against bangs in general. I just hate the upkeep of bangs on a small child who doesn't sit still very well. Scissors near the eyes on a regular basis scares me.) Third of all Doesn't she look cute? I will conceed that point, but still they should have asked, or said something to me when I came to pick her up instead of sending her home for me to discover the next day when I couldn't get all of her hair back in the pigtails. The Greatest just shook his head and said he can't explain what his family does or why they do it. Then he watched me take a picture of Bird and again shaking his head he said "you're going to blog this aren't you?" You bet I am. I might not be brave enought to call them and demand to know why they did it, but I will out them on the internet.

Mariposa is done

Don't have much time to blog today. The kids are in rare form so they need me. I just wanted to post pictures of my FINALLY finished Mariposa

You spend a small fortune on toys

And this is what they play with



I've been very productive. I've got my straps blocking



And I've done a ton of work on the surprise knitting. I wish I could show pictures. It is turning out so well. It is an unusual thing to knit. I'm making it for a friend. My Mother doesn't like it and thinks a person would not want to be gifted with this knitted item. She may be right. I might just keep this really cute knitted thing for myself and make something else for my friend. We'll see when it's done. As for now I've gone as far as I can on it until payday. I need one more thing for it.

So I find myself currently with nothing on the needles except Evil. And since we're living in temporary housing and most of my stuff is in storage (and let's face it, my stash wasn't too good to begin with) I find myself with no yarn to knit a new project, and no money for new yarn until sometime next month. One would think I would be a good wife and start working on Evil again for my husband. But I'm not a good wife. I think I'll make socks with my left over yarn to match Mariposa.

Knitted Perfection

Would I let a little thing like this keep me down?



Now bear in mind you can't see from the picture but it wraps around to the top of my finger and there's another stitch up there. I know it's gross, but if I have to look at it so do you. It's really a PITA. Sure it has it's advantages, like I can't bathe the kids for the next eight days, and people are coming over to keep me company and change all poopy diapers. But there's a down side, you should have seen me trying to take a shower and keep my hand dry. Plus typing this is a real pain. Overall this was not worth it just to get out of having to do the dishes for a week.

But I feel I have put my non-dishwashing, non-poopy diaper changing time to good use. Allow me to present Clapotis or as I like to call it "Knitted Perfection."



There it is modeled on my niece. And here it is front and back modeled by my sister





I'm just in love with it. I'm so happy to have knitted something that wasn't frogged fifty times, or resized. I did made it wider and longer to be more of a wrap, but that was incredibly easy, no real math involved, and I just love it. I used "Rainbow Boucle" from Jo-Anne's. It knitted up very soft and let me tell you it is warm despite the huge holes from the dropped stitches. I love the stripes, I love the dropped stitches. The pattern was easy and fun to knit. I think everyone should make one. I'm like Tom Cruise, I just keep gushing about how much I'm in love. But I think I'm way less creepy about it. You understand my love don't you?

Do you think Mariposa feels like Nicole Kidman? She shouldn't because I haven't forgotten her. Is this what I think it is?



Why yes it is. It's a thinner strap for Mariposa. Barring any unforeseen mutilation I should have the other one knit and blocking by the end of the day! Hooray! We are supposed to visit my In-Laws this weekend and I would like to have it ready to wear by then. But considering my track record I'm sure something will happen before then, maybe it will spontaneously combust. If it does atleast it will have flattering straps.

A girl obsessed

So there I was. Just a normal Saturday. I was making a huge pot of gumbo with the world's best recipe. I'm almost done, I throw the tomatoes in the pot and as I go to throw the cans away I manage to slice my pinky on the can lid. Not just any old cut, a big bleeding one, an "oh my goodness I'm gonna need stitches one". I wrap my hand in a washcloth and tell my husband I need to go to the E.R. He doesn't believe me. He wants to see the cut. So I stand up and hold my hand behind my back so he can see it and I can't. As soon as he took the pressure off my finger I got light headed and dizzy. He agreed it needed stitches. I felt like throwing up so I sat down on the steps. Then I fainted. It was surreal. I feel into a dream, a dizzy disoriented dream filled with despair. It was powerful and overwhelming. I can't remember any of the specifics, I just remember how I felt. When I came too I didn't even know where I was, I thought we were living in the old house. I don't remember but The Greatest claims I punched him when I came too. I just remember being relieved that I was out of the dream. Then I fainted again. I fell back into the dream but it wasn't as bad this time. I don't know because I was unconscious but I guess I had a small siezure when I fainted the second time. When I came too I knew where I was and what had happened. The Greatest was pale as can be and yelling at me to lay still on my back. I must have really worried him. We then went to the E.R. where three hours later they gave me five stitches and a tetnus shot.



That's as close to a picture of my stitches as you're going to get. I didn't look at my cut. I didn't watch as they stitched me. I didn't look at my stitches when they were done, and I didn't look as they bandaged me up. With any luck I'll be able to avoid looking at my finger until the stitches come out and all I have left is a scar.

And look at this piece of stupidity



They put a cotton ball over where they gave me the shot, then use a piece of clear duct tape to hold it in place. Talk about adding insult to injury.

So Sunday my finger hurts. I keep jamming it on stuff. Bird keeps grabbing it. You would think that in my incapacitated state I would take some time off from knitting. But no I sat around all day knitting. It kept my finger up and out of trouble. I really need professional help. But I'm almost done with Clapotis, I'm on the decrease rows. I just couldn't stop. I always thought I could quit any time I wanted. But I couldn't stop. Isn't admitting you have a problem the first step to recovery?

Just for the record

This won't make any sense to most of you.

I just wanna say that my kids are not neglected. Yes I tease that they are. I joke that I knit while they play with matches. But everything I say here is tounge in cheek. I am a good mother. My kids are not always the cleanest, but they have a lot of fun getting diry, too much fun for me to interrupt. They don't have set naps anymore, but sometimes they are too busy having fun to be bothered with things like sleep. They are happy and healthy and good kids. Really good kids. My daughter is so smart it scares me, she's sweet and kind and funny. My son is two and can count to twenty, he can open doors, he's stubborn and infuriating and mine. My baby is the cutest thing on two legs with her slobbery kisses and chunky thight. And the next time someone intimates that I am doing anything less than a stellar job raising my children I swear to God I'm gonna Bitch Slap them. Consider yourself warned.

I feel better now. I swear I'll drop it now.